


Dolly

by Ruquas



Series: Dolly [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Gaping, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, BDSM, Body Modification, Castration, Chastity Device, Choking, Cock & Ball Torture, Cock Cages, Consensual Kink, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Desperation, Dollification, Dom Tony Stark, Dom/sub, Hardcore, M/M, Medical Procedures, Nipple Piercings, Nipple Play, Object Insertion, Object Penetration, Objectification, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Penectomy, Punishment, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Service Submission, Sub Steve Rogers, Total Power Exchange, Watersports, bimbofication, consensual body modification, nullification
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:20:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 34,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26305489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruquas/pseuds/Ruquas
Summary: Steve and Tony have a happy relationship, practising a total power exchange for quite a long time now. And usually, Steve would say that nothing could be done to make it better, except maybe have SHIELD bothering them less.At least not until Tony compares him to a doll Steve never heard of. Or, more likely, until Steve fell down the rabbid hole the internet could be.Now he not only found a few new kinks, but also a new obsession - which he only has to admit to Tony.Well, who could've known that a normal Ken Doll could open up so many options?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Dolly [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088474
Comments: 107
Kudos: 329
Collections: MCU Kink Bingo Round 5, Season of Kink





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sagana_Rojana_Olt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sagana_Rojana_Olt/gifts), [WinterIronCap](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterIronCap/gifts).



> Hi there!
> 
> So, this is a fic, just in case you didn't read the tags, that contains several hard kinks, all consensual. That means; If you read this fic, don't complain afterwards about the kinks or anything in it.
> 
> If you feel uncomfortable at any time; Please use the back button. Close the fic. Or ask if whatever makes you uncomfortable comes up again. 
> 
> During this fic, a few kinks like nullification, anal training, dollifciation and so on will be talked about and will be acted out.
> 
> There will be medical talk in this fic. Like, real medical talk. I will warn you about those talks and about anything that's medical as this can be a trigger for people. We are talking about roundabout 3 chaps where that happens.
> 
> This fic is also finished and will be updated on a regular basis, but without a schedule.
> 
> Everyone else - have fun <3
> 
> A big thank you at WIC and Sagana for cheering the whole time.

It was a quiet evening, for both of them. Steve had prepared a simple dinner because Sir had complained about an upset stomach. Just some chicken and salad with a bit of dressing. Sir had fed it to Steve, most of his own food was left untouched. Steve remained and Sir didn’t indulge him today. Sir didn’t even indulge Steve, when he leaned on his owner’s knee, patiently waiting for the order to clean up or bring something else.

Nothing came. Instead, Sir just stood up and left the room without another word. Steve sighed as he stood up, boxing the leftovers for tomorrow before he started to clean up everything. It was routine by now. First, putting the leftovers away, then cleaning the dishes and drying them, putting them away as fast as possible, before he cleaned the kitchen and put away the kneeling pillow. 

Not that long ago, it took him almost an hour to finish everything, sometimes having to start from the beginning as it wasn’t the correct order. But nowadays, he didn’t even need to think about it anymore.

When Steve was finished and satisfied with the kitchen, he programmed the coffee machine to start at the same time when Steve would wake Sir up and made his way to the bedroom. He wasn’t surprised when Sir ignored him while studying Steve’s side of the closet.

Steve knelt down, waiting.

“I will get you new clothes tomorrow.” Sir said while pulling a tight button-down out of the closet, laying it on the sideboard next to it. Sir didn’t expect an answer and Steve didn’t give one. If Sir said he needed new clothes, then he needed new clothes. A pair of boxers and tight jeans were laid out next to the shirt.

“Get naked and get yourself hard. Don’t bother to fold them, those we’ll get rid of” Sir ordered. Still not really looking at Steve, while he compared a shirt to the button-down. Steve undressed as fast as he could while still kneeling. Sir hung the button down in the closet, finally casting Steve a look when he started to touch himself, letting out a small whimper.

“Preferences for the clothes?”

Steve shook his head, bit his lips, and swallowed a moan.

“Not too bright, Sir, please.”

Sir hummed and stepped closer to Steve, pinching his right nipple hard. Steve let out a hoarse scream, rashly putting his hands behind his back. He was hard and Sir hadn’t given him the permission to continue.

“I think I am going to get your tits pierced someday. Big enough that everyone can see them through the clothes, showing them how easy you are, how willing you can be if treated right.”

Steve whimpered and leaned his forehead against Sir’s leg. That would be a nice, a reminder that Sir could modify him however it suited Sir best.

A harsh kick between his legs let Steve double over.

“Such a good sub you are, listening to everything I say, doing everything I want, wearing whatever I choose for you. My own personal Ken Doll, only more slutty.”

Steve gasped, trying to remember what a Ken Doll was, but his brain couldn’t come up with anything. He would need to look it up in his personal time, for now, he just knelt back, looking up at Sir, both of them ignoring his leaking cock.

“I’m taking a shower. Lay out your plug on the bed and get wet enough. You’ve been a good boy, lately, earned the bed for now.”

Steve smiled and crawled to the bed, happy that he made his Sir happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chap fills the square B1 from the MCU Kink Bingo; Steve Rogers/Tony Stark


	2. Chapter 2

The next day started like most days. Steve woke up, washed, put on the clothes Sir had laid out for him, and started to prepare breakfast. When the coffee machine beeped quietly, he reminded himself that it would start any second. Steve dressed Sir’s plate with eggs and toast, deposited it at his usual place, and placed his bowl of oatmeal besides it. He went into their bedroom and noticed Sir was still sleeping, snoring quietly.

Carefully, Steve crawled into the bedroom and knelt in front of the bed, lifted the covers, pushed down Sir’s boxer shorts, and took Sir’s flaccid cock in mouth, suckling slightly.

Most people thought that Sir slept like the dead but he didn’t. The smallest, unexpected touch let Sir wake up. So, it wasn’t a surprise to Steve when Sir sleepily grabbed his hair and kept Steve where he was while the first trickle of urine ran down his throat, followed by a steady stream. Steve swallowed everything and licked Sir clean, making a small sound when Sir just pushed him away.

Sir chuckled and petted him slightly.

“Finish breakfast, Steve. I’ll be there in a minute. If you want, you can eat it at the table.”

Steve nodded and crawled out of the bedroom before he stood up, going back to the kitchen. There wasn’t much to do anymore, except taking a spoon for himself and placing his bowl in front of the second chair, waiting until Sir arrived and allowed Steve to sit down.

“Any changes for today, Sir?” Steve asked, not bothering to look up from his meal. He could still see Sir shaking his head, already typing something on his phone.

“Not that I know of. Pepper’s trying to hunt me down, though, for a few days already regarding some report from HR. Anything planned after your meeting?”

Steve sighed and shook his head, looking into his bowl as if it could hold the secrets of humanity.

“No, nothing, Sir. Some research, maybe, but first, surviving the meeting.”

Sir frowned.

“You do know that they can’t really force you to every meeting, right?”

Steve looked up but didn’t plaster a smile on. No faked emotions. That was a rule Sir was very keen on.

“Sure. It’s still my job.”

“Yes. But it’s not your job to do their jobs. And certainly not if you're already dreading going in the first place.”

Steve didn’t answer and Sir didn’t press. He just sighed and looked at his phone, making a hand gesture.

“Go. I’m going to put the dishes away. Be on time for lunch today, I have a meeting at half-past one.”

Steve stood up, knowing a dismissal when he saw one. He walked past Sir and pressed a small kiss to his cheek.

“I’m never late.”

“Whatever you say, darling.”

~*~*~

Steve should’ve stayed in bed. Or, at least, on their floor.

He listened to the guy droning on about the economical and cultural problems the Avengers could cause in several countries, listened to their solutions, just asking himself why a) he was even here and b) why it was even important to discuss countries they never _have been to_.

“Captain Rogers?”

Steve looked up, catching Bucky’s pained expression and wondered how they’d convinced him to sit through this meeting with Steve. He probably drew the short straw.

“Excuse me, I didn’t catch your point,” Steve said, trying to hide how annoyed he was with the whole situation. Fury’s raised eyebrow told him he wasn’t very successful. The Agent who had talked looked as if Steve insulted him personally.

“Well, due to cultural sensitivity, we maybe should consider sending only male Agents and Avengers to the middle eastern countries, to prevent…”

Steve frowned. Bucky just openly banged his head on the table, making a young Agent jump who had obviously been daydreaming.

“No.”

The Agent blinked.

“Uhm, Captain Rogers, surely you are aware that…”

“That what? Those countries have different laws. Yes, I am aware. I am also aware that the regions we usually get sent to are regions where we try to help the people against the Islamic State. So, my question is, is it really our goal to show them that we agree with them with _not taking_ female Agents or Ms. Romanov with us, even though they are as qualified or better qualified than others?”

Fury smirked for a short second, watching the Agent stammering through a few words.

“You know what? No, I don’t care. No matter what your intention was, it was a suggestion that neither was worth this meeting nor my time or anyone else’s. It was probably the rudest thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

The Agent was now beet red and trying to say something, but only got interrupted by Fury, who went to the next point on his, probably, very long list.

Steve suppressed the urge to sigh and looked at the clock. Only one hour more until the meeting was officially over, and he could make a run for it. How the hell did _that_ become Peggy’s, hell, even _Howard’s_ legacy?

~*~*~

It wasn’t until later, when he prepared a simple grilled cheese sandwich for Sir, that Steve doubted his decision to stay with SHIELD again. It wasn’t that he wanted to leave, he just wanted to… do more. Do something different than sitting in meetings that were pointless. Or had he, or Captain America, really became that pointless that his only use was sitting in stupid meetings, deciding stupid things that were so far away from reality it almost hurt?

Steve sighed and put the last sandwich on a plate. Maybe he should ask Sir for his opinion. But then, Sir had always been very clear about his stance on SHIELD. Maybe Clint. Clint actually _liked_ to work for SHIELD, not out of any obligation, but because he believed in it. Yeah, he should see if he could track Clint down during his free time tomorrow.

It was only when the lift finally stopped at Sir’s workshop that Steve felt a bit of the tension going away and that made him worry. It wasn’t uncommon for him to be tense. He was always tense, or, as Sir liked to put it, ‘coiled tight like a spring, but never so much that he realized it when just a bit of tension went away. Maybe he should take a day off.

Sir didn’t even look up from whatever he was doing when Steve walked over to the table.

“Set it down and kneel. I will be finished in a minute or two.”

Steve set down the plate and knelt down next to Sir, just waiting. Sighing, when Sir finally started to pet his hair.

“The meeting?”

“Saying it was hell would be a bit of an understatement. Maybe I should take a day off in the future.”

Sir didn’t say anything, just ate his sandwich while petting Steve. It was fine, neither of them really saying anything else. It was only when the clock showed half-past one when Sir broke the silence.

“I’d like to take you out in the next few days. Do you think you are up for something that's a bit more fancy? Thought about splurging money on you.”

Steve thought about it. It didn’t matter if he wanted it, and Sir usually didn’t prefer to involve Steve in this kind of decision. So it must be something important for Sir. Something he thought a classy environment would be better for. Very important if Sir wanted Steve to enjoy the evening to it’s full extend and not… well, just because.

“Yes, Sir.”

Sir made a thoughtful noise and stood up, pressing a kiss to Steve’s hair.

"Good. I will be home around eight. If you spend your free time on the floor, leave the clothes by the door."

Steve nodded, watching Sir go before he made his way up to their floor. After undressing he started to clean the floors. It took Sir quite a long time to accept that Steve didn't want to do it for himself because cleaning staff costs a fortune (they got that money anyway, just for a different floor…), but because it just took his mind off from… other things. He liked to be useful, even more, where it regarded Sir. 

Only when everything was tidied up, Steve looked at the watch. He still had around two hours of free time. Which meant, more than enough time to look up what a Ken Doll is and then to call Clint if he had a bit time in the next few days. 

“Would you like to get notified, Captain Rogers, when the time for the evening preparations has come around?” JARVIS suddenly asked. It wasn’t often that he asked Steve if he needed help with anything anymore. At least not regarding his schedule. But then, it wasn’t often anymore that Steve hadn’t planned his free time already.

“Uhm… no. I don’t think so. Thank you. Maybe a notification on my laptop?”

“Certainly, Captain Rogers.”

Steve nodded to himself, got himself a glass of water, and started his laptop. Steeling himself for whatever it was that he would find. If Sir was reminded of him sometimes, it couldn’t be something harmless.

But when he put in _‘Ken Doll’_ into the search engine, he actually only found that. Dolls. And a man wanting to look like a Ken Doll and then suddenly becoming a woman. Steve frowned and scrolled down, finding several shops offering those dolls, but… well, he probably hadn’t found the right thing. At least he didn’t saw any connections to whatever Sir and Steve did.

Steve typed in _‘Ken Doll Kink’_ , but still didn’t get better results. Still different dolls, some strange videos. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Maybe Sir hadn’t meant anything by it. Or Sir had meant something that Steve couldn’t understand? Or maybe, the Ken was just a randomly chosen name? Well, couldn’t hurt, right? Steve typed in _’Doll Kink’_ and this time, already stumbled over the first entry. 

“Hu... Dollification.” Steve murmured, frowning again. He didn’t look like a doll. At least, he thought so. But he certainly saw the appeal in this. 

Steve looked at the clock. Still more than an hour for himself. He typed in _’Dollifcation’_ and started to read further about this kink, landing on a few very strange websites, some even stranger manuals until he suddenly came across a video that just… mesmerized him. Steve knew he should look away. _This_ was certainly not something one saw every day. And certainly not what Sir had meant, Steve was sure of it.

He still couldn’t help himself, watching again and again how, in the short clip, the man tucked his limp cock somehow _into_ his testicles, pulled them up and then just _sewed it close_. 

Steve was certain that he shouldn’t feel as aroused as he was right now, watching a guy effectively castrating himself for a chosen time.

_’Looks nice, wonder how it would look completely nullified. Just serving Master as a fuckhole.’_

Steve stared at the caption and closed the tab, taking a few deep breaths to get his erection down and then typed in _’Nullified kink’_.

And whatever Steve had expected it… well, it hadn’t been _that_. Probably. Okay, Steve didn’t know what he had expected. But he certainly hadn’t expected to find… all of this. Steve clicked some warning to see the website, still engrossed in the interview about a man who had his genitals removed when Sir cleared his throat. 

Steve shut the laptop close, looking at Sir, staring wildly at the clock he could make out from behind Sir in the kitchen.

Ten minutes after eight.

Steve swallowed and dropped to his knees. He hadn’t done anything. He hadn’t prepared dinner. Himself. Sir’s reports Miss Potts needed him to look through. 

_Nothing_.

“Sir, I…”

“Quiet.”

Steve closed his mouth fast enough that he could hear his jaw clicking.

“Care to explain? Or just decided to be useless today and lazy the afternoon away?”

Steve swallowed and blinked.

“No Sir, I… I found something on the internet and… researched about it. A kink I never heard of. I am so…”

“I can’t remember asking for your apology.”

Steve nodded, not saying anything. Sir sighed and stepped behind him, shutting down the laptop.

“JARVIS? Only research or something else?”

The question stung and Steve didn’t even know why. In theory, he was allowed to watch porn in his free time, as long as Steve didn’t forget everything else. But he knew that Sir would make him watch it again and again until he craved whatever had happened in the video and then deny him. The last time that had happened, Steve hadn’t been allowed to sleep in the bed for days, just to discover that he liked it way more than Sir had probably planned.

“As far as I can judge, Captain Rogers discovered a new facette of a kink and lost himself in the research.”

Sir nodded and walked out of the room. Not calling for Steve and Steve didn’t follow. Steve didn’t try to listen to whatever Sir said that wasn’t his name. He could hear Sir talking to someone on the phone. Could hear Sir changing clothes. Could hear Sir taking something that was brought up. He smelt different kinds of food, realizing that he hadn’t eaten anything during his free time.

He still hadn’t moved when Sir walked into the room again, stopping in front of Steve.

“Here is what’s going to happen next. We will eat. I won’t feed you, you know that’s only for good boys.”

Steve nodded, feeling incredibly guilty already.

“When dinner is over, you will shower and get yourself ready. You lost the privilege of the bed. You will get a cock cage for tonight and a plug that’s big enough to make you feel it. I won’t do anything. In fact, you won’t get touched in any sexual manner from me today. Tomorrow, you are not allowed to put on any clothes or to leave the floor. The only exception for leaving this floor is an emergency, a call out for the Avengers which wouldn’t be done without you and when you bring me lunch. You will use the private lift to prevent people from seeing you. You will have all your usual chores, too. In between, you will edge yourself. When you realize that you come down again, you edge again. No orgasm for you until I allow it. You will wear the plug the whole day, but not the cage. I will take that off first thing in the morning. Do you understand this?”

Steve swallowed down the lump in his throat and nodded, opening his mouth. A hard slap across the face left his ears ringing.

“Oh, and I don’t want to hear anything from you today anymore. In fact, after showering, I will put a spider gag in that hole to prevent any useless noise while I fuck myself on one of those nice toys we have.”


	3. Chapter 3

When Steve woke up the next day, he already felt as if a train had hit him. Sir had followed through with his threat and hadn’t touched Steve the whole evening, which made his skin crawl in an unpleasant manner. Steve hadn’t really slept, a combination from feeling strange in bed when Sir should’ve put him on the ground and lots of confusing dreams. Steve couldn’t even remember them anymore, just knowing that they had been frightened and arousing at the same time.

Steve stood up, biting down the moan threatening to come out when the plug grazed his prostate. His cock twitched in its cage, but nothing more. It couldn’t do anything. Steve actually couldn’t wait until Sir opened the cage. 

They both knew that the edging wouldn’t be a punishment. Not a real one. Not receiving touch was way worse. Steve actually _liked_ those days where Sir had him on the brink, always aroused. It somehow made it easier to concentrate on what Sir might want. He knew how fucked up that was, but he made peace with it.

So he just did what he did every day - washing, preparing breakfast, preparing Sir’s coffee, waking Sir while keeping his cock warm. And if he relished in those extra pets Sir gave him, or suckled a bit more often on Sir’s fingers while he fed Steve, well, it was only their own business.

~*~*~

It wasn’t until later when he came up from the workshop (still paranoid that someone would see him, even though it was impossible. The only way someone could see him was if Sir would let them see and then it would be Sir’s choice anyway) that Steve realized that he already had finished everything for today. And it wasn’t even two p.m., and Steve still had at _least four hours_.

He let out a breath he didn’t know he had held in. He knew that Sir had chosen that punishment to make Steve relax a bit but… he couldn’t… Not really. He could do a bit of paperwork maybe. Sure, it wasn’t due for at least a few weeks, and he didn’t really want to, but the faster he could do it… well, the faster even more work would pile up.

Steve sighed and looked down, realizing his erection had gone down. But before he could take himself in hand, his phone rang. Steve bit his lip. He shouldn’t ignore it. But Sir had ordered to keep himself aroused. Whoever it was, they could wait.

Steve left the phone where it was and retired to the bedroom, laying down and started to stroke himself. Only stroking. Sir hadn’t said he couldn’t fuck himself on the plug, but he was under no illusion that the caller would call again and Steve wanted… well, to have time. Only when he felt his balls drawing up he stopped, almost embarrassed by the sound that came out of him. He ignored the itch to continue and turned around, taking a deep breath when his cock touched the sheets. Steve opened his laptop, determined to get at least a bit of work done to prevent himself from feeling even lazier when a video call from his phone was directed to his laptop. Steve sighed and threw a blanket over his blanket before looking at the caller.

Bucky.

Well, at least he knew how Steve looked naked.

“Hey, Buck.”

_”Wow, you are alive. You didn’t answer your phone.”_

“So you thought it was best to… video calls me?” Steve asked, smirking. But the dumbass just stuck out his tongue like the four-year-old he secretly was.

_“Are you up for going out? We wanna spar and then Clint is convinced that I quote, ‘Don’t know how real coffee tastes like’.” ___

__“Rich coming from the guy swallowing that stuff as if it was water.”_ _

__A loud protest came from the background, followed by a yelp. He could see Nat in the picture. She had probably hit him. Good._ _

__“Not today Buck,” Steve said and then lowered his voice, only loud enough for Bucky to hear. Sure, Nat and Clint knew about their relationship, just like the others. But Bucky… well, he knew a bit more._ _

__“I’m not allowed today. I can ask if tomorrow is possible.”_ _

__Bucky’s mouth did that thing where he swallowed down a comment. Well, he tried._ _

___“Sure. That would be fun. We could go to the park tomorrow. Watch stupid teenagers doing stupid things? Maybe tomorrow will be better”_ _ _

__“Sounds good. Have fun, Buck.”_ _

__Bucky nodded and hung up, knowing that Steve stuck to the rules. In the beginning, he had tried it. Sometimes, he still tried, but more for fun. Now, Bucky usually only reacted like that when he had a bad day._ _

__Steve took a deep breath and started working on a report, bringing himself again and again to the brink until he couldn’t really think anymore. At least not enough to ever finish the report he’d been working on the last hour._ _

__He opened the website with the interview again. Yesterday, he couldn’t finish, but today, he still had enough time. It was a rabbit hole again. First, it was only interviewing, then pictures. Then small videos._ _

__He couldn’t even say that it was always the same theme. Not really. More, like, three themes. The emasculation was the most prominent one, Steve wouldn’t lie to himself like that. He didn’t even know why. He could get behind the dollification, even if that wasn’t really doing something for him. But, as shameful it was to admit, reading the blog entries about women and, if far in between, men about trying to be stupid on purpose, just… being there to get fucked, to look nice…_ _

__Carefully to avoid any more stains than necessary (even though Sir had said it was fine when Steve stained the sheets, he even _liked_ seeing the evidence of how aroused Steve had been), Steve put a pillow under his hips, just the right height to hump it. Ignoring the burning humiliation of knowing how desperate that looked. Of knowing that Sir would probably have Steve show him exactly what he had done._ _

__Steve even found one blog from a man that concentrated on the combination of just getting nullified, being a ‘Nullo’ as most people called it, and being, well, dumb. Or playing to be. About the training that his Master put him through. Even sharing him with others, conditioning him. Even having a word that turns him mostly dumb, right up until he woke up after surgery, first having no balls. After getting castrated._ _

__He felt behind himself, pressing the plug deeper into himself while still humping the pillow. Letting his hand glide down to his balls, trying to imagine that they weren’t there. How it would feel. How Sir would like it. Just a hole to fuck._ _

__It took Steve almost thirty seconds to realize that the cramping in his lower regions wasn’t the first sign of his orgasm anymore. That they were the last. Hastily, he stilled his hips but it didn’t help. He still felt his cock spurting. Only when the orgasm was over Steve felt the first tear sliding down. He wasn’t even surprised when he heard JARVIS voice from the ceiling._ _

__“Would you like me to contact Sir, Captain Rogers?”_ _

__Steve thought about it and then shook his head, already opening a video call to Sir._ _

__“No, thanks, JARVIS.” Steve croaked, feeling even worse when he saw Sir’s happy face coming onto the screen, morphing into confusion when he saw Steve. If he looked like he felt, Steve couldn’t blame him._ _

__“What’s going on, Soldier?” Sir asked, clearly trying to go for a light mood, but Steve just… felt horrible._ _

__“I came without permission, Sir.”_ _

__Steve could see Sir pressing his lips together before nodding, still looking at Steve strangely._ _

__“Close the laptop when I hang up. Continue whatever you’ve been doing, but only enough to feel the stimulation, not enough to get off again. I’m coming up.”_ _

__Sir hang up without another word and Steve closed the laptop, all sites and blogs still open. If Sir wanted, it wouldn’t be difficult to find out what Steve had been looking at anyway._ _

__Steve started humping the pillow again, now stained and sticky with cum, pulling a bit at his skin. It felt delicious. He hated it._ _

__“Well, usually I would say what a sight to come home to, but... “ Sir said from behind him and Steve felt another tear fall. Sir sighed and walked to the bed. Then there was pressure on the plug and Steve moaned._ _

__Sir didn’t react, just played with the toy as if it wouldn’t affect Steve._ _

__“What’s gotten into you lately, hm? Care to share?”_ _

__Steve opened his mouth and closed it again._ _

__“I see. You get two punishments from this. Well, more like four. The first one is easy because I am certain that your laptop had to do with it. I will restrict it. The only things you’ll have access to are the intranet for SHIELD and for the tower, just like the programs you need for work. I will tell you when you get the access back. The second one will be that I am going to give you a hundred hits. You are allowed to choose the device. You will count. Clear, so far?”_ _

__Sir pulled the plug out a bit and pressed it back in again, repeating the action harsher when Steve didn’t answer fast enough._ _

__“Yes, Sir. Clear.”_ _

__“Good. I will limit your free time, too. Obviously, you can’t be trusted with it for now for some reason. If I think there’s still something on your mind, you _will_ tell me what it is. You get an adjusted schedule in the evening. The last punishment is simple. Very simple. You won’t leave this bed. In fact, you will stay here and hump your pillow, coming again and again. I don’t care if you get raw or not. You can play with the plug if you want, but you won’t stop humping. You can take two breaks for toilet and food. I will order take out for us. Understood?”_ _

__Steve swallowed and shook his head. Sir just raised his eyebrow._ _

__“Y… yes, Sir. Thank you Sir for correcting me.”_ _

__Sir just sighed and stood up, walking to the chest where they kept some toys._ _

__“Yeah, we’re going to talk about that when I’m done. Thought about what you want to have used? If you chose the hand you need to choose a device anyway. Not everyone has stamina like a machine.”_ _

__Steve nodded even though Sir couldn’t see._ _

__“The hand and the spikey paddle, Sir.”_ _

__“You feeling that guilty, hu?”_ _

__It wasn’t a question and Steve didn’t answer. Sir took the paddle with the small spikes out of the chest and sat himself down on the bed._ _

__“Come on. Over my lap and better get comfortable. This will be going to take a while.”_ _

__The first hit with the hand was… unexpected. And Steve didn’t know why. Sir would get his skin warm, would get the blood flowing first before using the paddle, so it…_ _

__“Steve.” Sir said sharply, warning clear in his voice._ _

__“I am sorry, Sir. One, Sir, thank you.” Steve said, wincing when the second hit was with the paddle._ _

__“Two, Sir. Thank you.”__

 _ _~*~*~__

 _ _It wasn’t until later, much later after Sir had fed him dinner and let Steve change the sheets and lay down on them, that Steve finally found, that his mind was a bit quieter now. He still hated himself for that on some days. Today was one of those days where he wasn’t sure if he hated himself._ _

__“I’m going to book an appointment with a therapist for you if I think it will get worse.”_ _

__Steve grimaced._ _

__“I don’t want to.”_ _

__“I know. But you start to get depressed and that’s not the best thing to be.”_ _

__“Pot meet kettle, Sir.”_ _

__Sir laughed and pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead._ _

__“Do as I tell you to do, not how I do it.”_ _

__Steve chuckled quietly. He still felt weird, still guilty but it got better._ _

__“When we are finished with buying this one company and getting out the next two or three devices, Pep told me I could go on vacation. Would that be something you’d like to?”_ _

__“Sure. A vacation would do you good, Sir.”_ _

__Sir rolled his eyes and flicked Steve’s ear._ _

__“I meant if that would be something you want to do, too. It’s your work, I won’t tell you when to take any vacations.”_ _

__Steve hummed and caught himself thinking for not the first time since they started… _this_ , that it would be nice if Sir would have control of his work, too. At least a little bit._ _

__“I think it sounds nice.” Steve answered instead._ _


	4. Chapter 4

Steve felt as if he carried the weight of the world when he went down to Sir’s workshop a few days later, carefully carrying the plate with the homemade burger and fries. He knew it was obvious that he wanted something from Sir. Steve didn’t really care.

He hadn’t really slept. He couldn’t concentrate on his reports or work overall. He couldn’t concentrate on the books he tried to read. Painting didn’t work either. And Steve knew that he just managed his chores because it was more or less muscle memory. The same with training.

It was just… ridiculous and he needed to talk to Sir about it. It wasn’t as if he just wanted to get castrated the next day. It was just… Steve didn’t knew what it was. Why he was so obsessed with this. With… the emasculation. The being dumb. Maybe Sir could help. Maybe not. But at least Steve would’ve gotten it off his chest.

Steve put the table next to Sir like usual, but didn’t knelt down. Instead, he tried to swallow down the lump in his throat.

It wasn’t until Sir looked up at him, frowning, that Steve finally could get his mouth to work how he wanted to.

“Kaleidoscope… Sir. I… There are a few things…”

Sir looked… resigned. As if Steve did something horrible that Sir had seen coming. Steve swallowed again, the lump getting bigger.

“Sure. Sit down.” Sir said, trying to put a smile on his face and Steve wanted to cry. It was just… somehow it came out completely wrong.

“It’s nothing bad. I think. It’s just… if I can’t get it out now, I… it’s nothing bad, I hope.”

Sir barked out a laugh and sat himself down on his chair, not even glancing at the cooling burger. 

“Sure. I mean, my sub, my boyfriend, just came to me after several days being closed off and distracted with my favorite food and gave me our safe word for negotiation. And is now nervous, which is a valid thing, no matter what, but… I am not worried at all.” Sir finished, sarcasm practically dripping off his words.

And well, if put like that, Steve could see how Sir would be worried. He sighed and shook his head.

“No, Sir, it’s…”

“Tony.”

Steve fell silent. It had been a long time since he had called Sir by his name. At least not in a conversation where he talked to Sir. It just… didn’t felt right anymore. Bruce had even told him one day that it sometimes slipped into his conversations with the others, too. 

“... Tony.” Steve murmured and Sir snorted. Steve just looked away sheepish.

“I just wanted to tell you why I am distracted. And I just wanted say before, that I’d like to try a few things. Not the more extreme ones, maybe, because… well, they are extreme. Or, at least not right away and… I have no idea where to start.

Sir raised an eyebrow, looking confused.

“So, you basically found an interesting kink and want to try it? That’s… actually not what I thought. Usually you…”

“It’s not usual.” Steve interrupted and flinched. No slap came. He didn’t got shushed. And then he remembered, that they were, at least for now. equals. 

Sir made a ‘Go on’ gesture.

“Just… if possible, just… try not to interrupt, okay? It’s difficult.”

“I try.” Sir said and Steve knew that he would have liked a promise better. But then, he loved Sir and with him the bluntness - even if that was sometimes a pain in the ass.

Steve took a deep breath and nodded.

“Good. Good. Uhm, you probably don’t remember, but a few days ago you compared me to a Ken Doll?” Steve started, but Sir only shrugged, taking a fry from the plate.

“Okay. It’s actually nothing wild, I just didn’t knew what you meant, so I tried to find it out. And was confused, because I only found dolls. I started to look further and found the term dollification, which seems to be interesting on it’s own, but not really what you meant? And, to be honest, not something I would like to do.”

Sir nodded, nibbling on a tomato he somehow fished out of the burger.

“So if Dollification isn’t something you want to try, but you want to try _something_...” Sir said, trailing off. Steve nodded and looked down at his hands, trying to get his breathing back to normal. He had given up on his pulse, though.

“I also found… there were a few links and mentions of something called Bimbofication, too. And Nullification, like, in having the genitals removed. And that seems to be very interesting, too, just like the conditioning or the bei…”

“No.”

Steve shut his mouth fast enough to hurt, not knowing what to say either way.

Sir had never just… said _‘No’_ when Steve had suggested something, never had sounded so… final. Never had shut Steve down with at least hearing the reasons.

“Si… Tony, I think tha…”

Sir leaned forward, face stoic now.

“You heard me, Steve. Negotiation time is over. You have two options now. You can tell me your safe word to opt out or you can shut your pretty mouth, stand up and go to the gym to have your training time with Bucky.”

Steve felt something unpleasant twisting in his chest. Was Sir disgusted now? Would Sir say his own safe word now? 

Steve swallowed, ignoring the lump that was back in his throat before standing up.

“Of course, Sir.” Steve whispered, couldn’t bring himself to stand straight when he walked out of the shop.

He had made it worse. He should have closed those sites as soon as he saw them. Shouldn’t get greedy. God, he already got so much more than he had hoped for when he found out that BDSM could bleed into the daily life. No reason to destroy everything now.

But that he seemed to have managed without even trying. He just hoped that Sir wouldn’t be disgusted now. Or at least, not too disgusted to overcome it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a pushover...

To say that Steve was tense over the next few days would be the understatement of the century. He was certain if someone would try to scare him or surprise him, he would probably just explode.

Even _Bruce_ had commented on it.

So, Steve tried to do the only thing he could think of to make Sir happy - he behaved like those subs he had read online about in the beginning. The ones where Sir had just laughed and said that those subs weren’t really that common and that it wasn’t for everyone, just like the kind of service submission Steve loved so much. 

He only spoke when spoken to, did all his chores and just… did whatever it was what Sir wanted. And he just knew it wasn’t enough because most things he did anyway.

But when his laptop one day sat not on his desk where he left it, but on the coffee table in the living room, he knew that Sir had given him the whole access back. Steve just looked at it for almost five minutes before he sat down and opened it, showing him his usual log in screen instead of the set-up account Sir had made him to use during his punishment. And when he opened the internet browser, Steve was surprised to find everything just as he left it. The blogs were still open, if reloading. The videos were starting to play. Almost as if they had just waited for Steve.

It wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t something Steve just wanted for himself. It would be nice with Sir, he was certain, but that was it. If he had to choose, and he had to, there was only one logical decision for him. Only one decision that didn’t feel as if he was betraying everything he wanted.

Steve closed the sites and deleted his browser history.

~*~*~

The tension stayed, but Steve got used to it. Sir didn’t talk as much either, seemingly to be in thought about something. And if Steve would be a better man, a better boyfriend… hell, a better sub, he would ask about it.

But Steve wasn’t any of this. He was afraid that Sir would just tell him that he wanted to break their contract or worse, end their relationship. So, he kept quiet. Trying to convince himself that everything was normal and that it was just like one of those time’s where Sir or he had more on their plate as usual.

No one said anything to Steve about it. Not after he had snapped at Bucky for asking him if Sir would allow Steve to go to a movie, if Bucky should buy a ticket for Steve, too. Or maybe Steve and Sir.

Bucky had tried to be nice. Steve didn’t care. 

All that and so much more were the reason why Steve felt as if he could cut the air in the quinjet with a butter knife. Clint just stared out of the cockpit. Natasha just cared for her wound. Bruce sat there, trying to mediate and clearly failing. Bucky pretended to read a book. Sam pretended to look at something on his phone. Sir pretended to sleep.

And Steve? He wanted to scream. Or cry. He just wanted to curl up next to Sir. But he only did that after very hard missions, missions that left them all drained. But this one? This one had been easy, compared to what they usually had to do. Just a few Hydra goons appearing and causing trouble.

Steve shouldn’t feel exhausted as he did. Shouldn’t be as thankful as he was when they finally reached the tower, finally landed.

“Steve, come. Debrief can wait.”

Steve already hurried after Sir before he had even processed the words. Why did Sir want to talk to him? He felt the bile rising, feeling excited and nervous and… frightened.

It didn’t help that Sir didn’t say anything to him during their ride up to their apartment. Neither did it help that Sir pointed to the couch but fetched two water bottles for them. Wasn’t Steve good enough anymore for that?

“Stop it, Steve. Stop beating yourself up. I just… please tell me I’m not the only one who noticed that there’s a fucking elephant dancing mambo in every room of this tower?”

Steve shook his head and took the offered bottle, greedily drinking it down.

“No, Sir.”

“Good. Do you want to explain to me why you seem to walk on eggshells around me? Because I honestly don’t know how to react to that or what to do to not make it worse.”

Steve could say so much. He could tell Sir that he was exhausted. He could say that Steve just had a hard week. Even that he felt that he needed more punishment. Or a day being bound somewhere with Sir nearby. That would be nice. 

“Are you disgusted by me, Sir?” Steve asked in a small voice, staring at the bottle in his hands. He could have said whatever he wanted to say, but it wouldn’t be the right thing. Not the important thing.

Sir gripped Steve’s chin, forcing him to look up. Sir was frowning, but more a confused frown than anything else.

“Why should I be disgusted? By you, none less?”

Steve felt himself starting to cry and he didn’t even know why. Maybe the exhaustion, but then, the mission had been _easy_ , damnit!

“Steve?” Sir prompted and Steve realized that he hadn’t answered.

“Because of… because of what I said. A few days ago. And… for being bad and just… I am sorry.” Steve finished lamely, not really knowing what he apologized for. Everything and nothing, probably. Sir had that.

The hand dropped from his chin and Steve felt cold, somehow. Which was stupid. JARVIS never let the temperature drop below seventy degrees.

“Actually, that was something I wanted to talk about. Not you being bad, because that’s stupid. But it explains why you acted like you did the last few days. You didn’t do anything wrong at all. If anyone acted wrong, it was me. But before we talk about it, I need to know if your head is clear. I need to know that you are neither dropping nor in subspace. I doubt that the latter applies right now, but if I’m honest, you look only a few words short of a very hard drop.”

Steve opened his mouth and closed it again, feeling like a fish.

“No. I don’t think so. I’m just… exhausted. I don’t know why, Sir. It’s just been like that the last few days.”

Sir nodded thoughtfully before he leaned back.

“If that changes, please tell me.”

“Yes, Sir.” Steve answered and then hesitated. Should he kneel? He felt like he should kneel. But he also had the feeling that it would be counterproductive right now.

He stayed where he was.

“What exactly is it that appeals to you regarding himbofication, which is the correct word when using this kink for males, and nullification?”

Steve blinked. That… wasn’t what he had expected. Not at all.

“Uhm. It’s… it’s a bit difficult to explain, Sir.”

“Try it, please.”

Steve took it as the order it was.

“Okay. For the nullification, it’s that it’s not really about me anymore. Like, it’s still for me, sure, but… every sexual act, it’s just… it’s more about you. Like, there’s nothing getting in the way of it. As far as I understood, the sex drive doesn’t go away or the arousal. It only would be like living in constant chastity, which would be fine for me.”

Sir raised his eyebrow but stayed quiet for a few minutes.

“Well, as far as I know it doesn’t exactly work like chastity. The arousal… well, it depends a bit on the kind of operation to reach this state.” Sir said, sounding as if he knew exactly what he was talking about and Steve would admit freely, that wasn’t what he had expected. 

“Don’t look at me like that. My boyfriend asks me about kinks that are a bit more intruding than, let’s say, putting a blindfold on.” Sir said, a small smile playing on his lips and Steve felt… lighter. A bit better.

“Okay, point taken, Sir.” Steve said and it felt good. Sir made a hand gesture for Steve to continue.

“Good. We would have the body modification. Now about suddenly playing dumb. I think we both know that this isn’t exactly something you usually do.”

“No. I… at first I thought it was a bit like Dollification, always looking good and doing everything for it. But it’s not that. At least, not for me. For me, I think, the appeal lays in the… well, being always aroused. No, that didn’t come out right. Nothing to decide. Just thinking about if I look pleasing enough for you, being… how did you call it once? Fuck dumb? That. And, I’m not going to lie, the ‘not making any decisions’ part sounds heavenly right now. SHIELD is just… well, it doesn’t matter. Those are at least the things that caught my attention. Basically, just being of better use for you. I get it, it’s dumb, it’s just a nic…”

“Stop. You are thinking about it. No matter what will be done about it, it is something that interests you. So, it’s not _dumb_. It’s just… unusual, I dare to say.”

Steve nodded, not knowing what to answer. If he should answer.

“Okay. I will take one day from the weekend off. I don’t know yet if Saturday or Sunday, but I will inform you until Friday. This day, short of any Avengers emergency, belongs to us. I want you to prepare for that. I want you to think about what you would like to do. What you need us to do to get back on even ground with your feelings, at least a bit.”

Steve felt his face breaking into a big smile. He could do that. That sounded like heaven, actually. And then Sir raised his hand.

“I am not finished yet. You will also write down your reasons why you think these kinks, and any other things you recently find interesting, are suddenly that interesting for you. And you will write down how you would like to go about it. This doesn’t mean that I will change the ‘No’ to a ‘Yes’. But if I see that you thought about it, we can at least talk about it.”

“Thank you, Sir. I won’t disappoint you.” Steve breathed, feeling like he couldn’t get any more air into himself. He needed to do so much research. Like… god, he needed to start now, there wasn’t enough time. It was already Tuesday!

“Good. _Now_ we can get to that debrief of yours. JARVIS, would you call the others, please?” Sir said, the smirk on his face telling Steve that Sir knew exactly what Steve thought.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve knew that he could be obsessive if it came to something he found interesting. Especially if it was something where he needed all the data to get someone on his side (if he didn’t just do it out of spite). The first time he had found out that this awesome thing Sir and he did in the bedroom was also something they could do outside of it, Steve had just disappeared for two days straight, only looking up reports from people. And that’s not even covering when he found out that BDSM exists. He needed to be prepared. He needed to show the other side that he knew _everything important_.

Steve had not once in his whole life felt as unprepared as he felt now, sitting across Sir. Maybe the day after his mother had died and he had realized that yes, he really needed to make it on his own now.

“I won’t rip your head off your shoulders, you know?” Sir asked, having a notebook (an actual paper notebook) lying open on his knees. Similar to Steve, with the exception that it had an empty site. Steve’s site was… well… full of notes that probably only Steve himself could read.

“I am just… I feel as if I’m going to puke any second now.” Steve admitted and put his head in his hands.

“It’s… are you really not disgusted? I mean… it’s just…” 

“No, Steve I am not disgusted. Not by you, not by your new found interest in certain kinks. You weren’t even the reason I learned that those things exist. I just want to understand where the appeal would lay for you as a sub. I know what the appeal is for me, but I am certainly not the important part of this equation.”

Steve’s brain just shut off for at least three seconds. Sir had said where appeal for him _is_ , not where it _would be_. Sir was interested in at least one thing. Steve swallowed and shook his head slightly, looking down on his notebook and sighed.

“Okay, this will probably still come out like garbage. The whole thing, no matter what, comes down on being… well, of use would be the wrong thing to say, but it’s actually the only thing that comes near. Like… with the service stuff?”

Sir nodded and Steve was relieved that he didn’t had to explain that further.

“And it’s like that with the three mentioned kinks. Like I said, dollification sounds interesting, but more for like… a few days, maybe. Something to try out, to play around with. Nothing that would be appealing in long term. I can’t even really say why it caught my attention or if that’s just something that’s in my head because everything blurred together on that day.”

“Fair.”

Even though it was just a simple word, Steve felt better about it. Sure, Sir had more than once told him in the beginning that not every kink, every fascination was logical or could be explained. But that didn’t meant that Steve couldn’t _tried_.

“The… himbofication, well… I only found the female part. Even with the right word, I couldn’t find that many resources. The main appeal for me lays within a mix out of the humiliation, the fact that I only have to be concerned about being perfect for you and… well, being something that’s useful to you in any way. And I won’t lie, the biggest thing for me is the mixture out of ‘Permanently horny, conditioned to not care about anything except the fuck’ and ‘Only responsible to be up to your satisfaction’. But it’s certainly not something I’d like to do my whole life or even for the next year because… it’s a play, right? As cruel as it sounds, a word or a conditioned sequence would be nice to make it happen in between. There’s actually a very interesting blog from a guy who seems to work in a higher position, but got conditioned by his Master.”

Sir nodded, scribbling something in his notebook without looking at it. Steve had his full attention.

“Okay. Then tell me about the nullification. This seems to be the part that interests you the most, if I gather correctly?”

Steve nodded and wiped his hands on his jeans.

“I… yes. This is… okay. Like I said, it’s also combined with the service. I like the thought that you wouldn’t need to have to bother with… well, anything that comes with an erection on my side. No precum, no orgasm. At least not in the classical matter, but I still need to find out how that would look, because so far I only found out that men can still come, but not how. I mean, sure, the fantasy of a lifelong denial sounds nice, but I couldn’t find anything about it, and I’m also not sure if I would really like that. I need more information first. But being so aroused, knowing that I would like, only have the option to come untouched or not at all? Because I have no other options? That’s a fantasy I would like to live through. The aspect to be degraded to nothing more than a hole to fuck is also a very nice fantasy.”

Steve knew that he had said something that let Sir hesitate. It was on Sir’s face. And Steve felt an icy hand grabbing his intestines. Sir’s face was replaced by a poker face usually reserved for the press.

“Regarding that I have a question - does that mean you want a vagina?”

Steve blanched and felt angry. That wasn’t… how…?

“No, I don’t want to be a woman, _Sir_.” Steve spat, not saying anything else. Everything else would be a crude thing to say and he wasn’t allowed to be crude just out of spite. Sir didn’t look impressed.

“I didn’t ask if you want to be a woman, Steve. I asked if you want to have a cunt. Because some people actually _like_ to get added parts just for someone others pleasure, for not being more than a fuckhole.”

Steve swallowed. He knew Sir had chosen those words on purpose. Sir knew that those words would made Steve blush. Knew that those words managed to let Steve think for a second and not just _react_.

“No, Sir. No vagina.” Steve croaked.

Sir sighed and leaned back.

“Okay. It doesn’t matter anyway, because I won’t allow or do any permanent modifications. We are not talking about a piercing, Steve. Or, hell a tattoo. A scar. We are talking about something that affects your whole life dramatically. And just because right now both of us can’t imagine it, it doesn’t mean we will be together until we die. We could break up and then all your motivation to be good would have led you somewhere you can’t just reverse. Hell, we don’t even know if you can really age. Even _if_ we stay together until I die, it doesn’t mean that you will follow directly. If it’s only about you being good, you don’t have to worry.” Sir exclaimed, sounding angry and resigned. And even if it hurt Steve, he knew that Sir was right.

“It’s not about being good, Sir. I know that I’ve been good. I know that you didn’t have complaints. It’s… it’s for me. Sure, in the end it revolves around _you_ right now. But even if there’s a reason why this relationship falls apart, the part of me that likes to be of use, that likes to service someone, that’s not gone. Sure, a potential different partner could be put off in the future. But they could also be put off because I am blonde, or because I am built like a brickhouse or because I like to beg. It would just be another factor to be considered for that person. And I am pretty certain that the serum would heal that kind of wound someday, too. It would just take a bit longer.”

“You know that Robocop is still missing his arm, right?” Sir asked, voice barren of any emotion. 

Steve winced.

“Yes, I know that. But Bucky didn’t have the same serum as I had. And we are not sure what Hydra... We could… make a test, how long it takes for anything to grow back. Like, I am uncut. I could get a circumcision. It’s nothing that will affect me in any way should I decide that the fantasies aren’t for me anymore. It would be a good thing to estimate how long the regrow _could_ take. Even if it ends up permanently - it’s just a circumcised cock. It would also give me time to think about it a bit more, do more research.”

Sir looked down on his notes, now ignoring Steve completely. It took him almost ten minutes to look up again. Ten long minutes where Steve felt again as if he needed to throw up.

“If you really want that, you will make a written statement that this is your wish. You will tell that to a camera. And I will take notes about the regrow. For any medical procedure, it will be done by someone _I_ hired. If I find any reason to think this has been the wrong idea, this experiment ends, no matter what kink we are talking about, just like you can end this experiment any moment.”

Steve blinked. And then he realized that Sir had agreed. He had agreed that they would try out those things. That they would play around with it. Steve felt relieved and so much heavier than before. He blinked a tear away and slid down on his knees on the floor, bending so much forward until his forehead touched Sir’s shoes.

“Thank you, Sir.” Steve said, hoping that Sir even remotely understood what that meant for Steve.

“You are welcome. Now, for the other part of the day, We will tie you down, first…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Season Of Kink; G3 - Negotiation


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Medical Talk
> 
> In this chapter, there's medical talk about circumcision. I don't guarantee that it's correct, mainly because it's been a long time since I worked in the medical field.
> 
> If you wanna skip that, skip at; “The circumcision is usually..." and start again at "Steve blinked and then looked down..."

It wasn’t until a few days later that something happened. And when it did, it certainly surprised Steve.

He didn’t do anything special - it was Thursday, and Thursday was the day to clean the kitchen. Steve was almost finished - he even had already prepared Sir’s lunch to prevent from getting it dirty again at least for a few hours, when he heard the lift doors opening. Confused, Steve started to turn around.

“Drop the jeans and spread your legs.”

The command was simple enough that Steve could follow it without really thinking. The strength Sir used to practically shove Steve on the table, though, was surprising. Steve moaned when two fingers suddenly breached him, dry. The only thing that made it easier was the fact that Sir made Steve lube himself generously every morning.

“We’ll need to put a plug in you daily.” Sir murmured, a comment made offhandedly. Steve whimpered when he even thought about it. Thought about preparing himself every day like always and then pushing in a butt plug. Not for his own enjoyment, only to make sure Sir wouldn’t have the hassle to prepare him anymore. To make sure Steve was wet enough.

Then Sir pushed in and Steve moaned loudly, not holding back. Sir had made himself clear that he hated that. A hand pressed on his neck, the thumb laying over his windpipe. Not pressing down, just enough of a threat.

“I don’t care if you come, but if you do you won’t be allowed to have an orgasm tonight.” Sir said before he started fucking into Steve with long, hard thrusts, not saying anything else. Not caring if Steve liked it or even if he hit Steve’s prostate. Not caring if Steve was satisfied.

Steve whimpered, trying to get a hold on the table, trying to hold back his orgasm, which was already difficult enough after over two weeks without one. It wasn’t surprising to Steve that he came with a shout when Sir accidentally pressed down with his thumb while hitting his prostate over and over, ignoring the twitching from Steve in favor of his own orgasm.

Sir pulled out without caring if Steve already had a chance to catch his breath. He fetched himself the sandwich Steve had prepared and sat down on the table, just looking at Steve, smirking.

Steve could feel the goofy smile on his face. Sir hadn’t told him to get up so he could catch his breath a bit longer. Enjoy the soreness a bit longer.

“Such a good boy. Getting fuck dumb just because someone told him to spread his legs.” Sir murmured, wiping up a bit of drool that had dropped in the table and wiped his hand clean on Steve's cheek. It took Steve another few seconds to stand up again, pulling up his jeans, feeling Sir’s cum dripping out of him.

Sir took a bite from his sandwich pointing to the floor without looking up.

"Clean that mess up." Sir ordered. Steve dropped to his knees, realizing Sir meant Steve's own sperm on the floor. He swallowed and dropped down, sticking out his tongue to lick it up. Ignoring the humiliation that still shot through him after all this time.

"I talked to a few people and found someone who thinks he can do the circumcision in your case. If you still want to do it, you are allowed to meet him. He's in the med bay. I even allow you to go up now, let you finish your chores later in your free time."

Steve froze and felt his cock harden again, staring at the last drops of his cum, mouth still slightly open. Sir had really found a Doctor?

Sir chuckled, and then there was pressure on his head. Sir pressing him down with his shoe into his own mess.

"No need to thank me. Now, clean up. The doc will be here the whole day anyway and it won't be a hardship to get him here again."

With that, the pressure disappeared and Sir stood up, leaving Steve alone to lick his mess up. Left Steve to make the decision alone. Showing Steve that it was his own decision this time.

Steve would have liked to say that he licked up his cum and then went back to cleaning the kitchen because he wasn’t finished. Because it was just rude to run up and ask for the Doctor without an appointment.

In reality, he had licked up his cum and already went through the door to the medical area. No one cast him a second glance. No one asked why he was here.

“Mister Rogers, I presume?”

Steve froze when someone behind him addressed him, sounding bored as if it was everyday business. And maybe for the Doctor, it was. Steve swallowed and took a deep breath. He could turn around. Or just ignore the Doctor and pretended that he was someone else. Which as a stupid idea because basically the whole world knew him. Including the Doctor, otherwise, he wouldn’t have addressed Steve in the first place. Steve turned around and shot the Doctor an undoubtedly nervous smile. The man didn’t even look somehow… special. And Steve just chided himself for thinking he would do. A Doctor was just that… a Doctor.

“Uhm, yes, Doctor…” Steve started and trailed off.

“Albrecht. Come with me, Doctor Cho was so kind as to give me her office until mine has been set up.”

Steve trailed after the Doctor, barely realizing that Sir probably hired the Doctor just… _because_. 

In the office, Doctor Albrecht pointed to a chair and took a seat behind the desk.

“Mister Stark informed me you are thinking about circumcision if I understood it correctly. Could you tell me your reasons, perhaps?”

Steve opened his mouth… and closed it again. He didn’t know what Sir had told the Doctor. Not that it mattered in the end, at least not regarding Steve. But he also didn’t want to accidentally out Sir and… well, he had absolutely no clue what to tell the Doctor.

“It’s just a rare request from an adult male regarding himself, you see? Usually, a circumcision is either done for religious reasons or medical reasons. Here, it seems, none apply. Therefore, you would need to sign a clause and I will need a self-written statement that you agree to this operation.”

Steve nods. The writing had to be done for Sir anyway, so that would be easy. The clause… well, he signed more in the last few years than probably half of SHIELD together in the last fifty years.

“That won’t be a problem, Doctor Albrecht… uhm… do you mind my question? What kind of Doctor are you?”

Because Steve couldn’t imagine that somewhere in the world was a sign for a Doctor’s office, telling it’s patients that they were about to step into a surgery where males could get their genitals removed.

“I’m an urologist, Mister Rogers.” Doctor Albrecht says eyebrow raised, telling Steve without words that the other man clearly thought that Steve was an idiot.

“The circumcision is usually a small operation, working with a local anesthetic. Due to your special condition, it could be that we need heavier anesthetics. Now, I will explain to you the risks and how circumcision is done. Usually. You will hear that a lot.”

Steve nodded, knowing that, even if the Doctor didn’t show it, he was probably a bit nervous, too. Steve was, after all, not a normal human being.

“The usual amount of surgery takes is around thirty minutes. The usual time spawns until everything heals up is ten days. We will remove the foreskin with a scalpel right behind the head. Any bleedings will be cauterized and the remaining edges of the skin will be stitched together.”

“Hu… that sounds… easy,” Steve said. He didn’t know what he had thought, but he hadn’t thought it would sound so… easy. So clinical. His cock though seemed to like it as it was straining against his zipper.

“It is. It’s a very common operation, Mister Rogers. There are risks, of course. As it’s surgery, there will always be the risk of infections. There could also be the problem that the removal of the foreskin wasn’t complete and that there’s skin left, or that it’s to short now. Both things need to be treated with another option. There are cases where the foreskin might not heal as expected. In that case, we need to make an individual decision. As we are talking about a wound, it could be that the foreskin attaches itself to the end of the penis. This would need surgery. But otherwise, there aren’t any real risks.”

Steve blinked and then looked down on the table. Sometime during talking, the Doctor had pushed a pamphlet across the table.

“In this pamphlet, you can find everything I just explained and how to act after the surgery. I was told if you want to go through with it, that Mister Stark will oversee everything, but I’m a big fan of an informed patient. There’s also the matter that, if any further operations will be induced that aren’t _directly_ connected to the circumcision, I require a psychological evaluation first from a psychologist I trust. I already gave Mister Stark the contact data.”

Steve felt as if the Doctor had just poured ice water on him.

The Doctor knew what Steve wanted. Sir had told him. Sir had told him everything.

Steve didn’t know why that made him as hard as he suddenly was. He was even leaking. And he felt himself blushing.

“Uhm… sure. I mean, I understand that. I really do. Can you… maybe tell me when I can see that psychologist?”

“Soonest when the circumcised skin healed completely. I would advise at least a few weeks, usually around eight to twelve weeks. But that’s personal advice. As long as my colleague gives me a report about your state of mind, we will decide everything else. Any other questions, Mister Rogers?”

Steve shook his head and stood up. Later, he could probably think about the fact that he just went out of the office without saying anything. About how rude it was. 

But for now, it was as if everything was swimming.

Only later, while waiting on his knees by the door on Sir, it occurred Steve that the Doctor had said _’Usually around eight to twelve weeks’_ when he had asked when he could see the psychologist. That it was the usual advice from the Doctor.

Meaning, Steve wouldn’t be the first one to get everything removed if he decided on that.


	8. Chapter 8

On most days, hell even most weeks, Steve loved his job as an Avenger. Loved to help people, loved to protect them if necessary.

Now wasn’t one of those times. 

He was tired and exhausted. His whole body was caked with mud (to be fair - everyone was caked in mud except Clint, for some mysterious reason).

It hadn’t even been this one mission. Over the last seven weeks, they got called out for _thirteen_ missions, They were all tired.

“I think I’m going to retire. Or at least, step back.” Steve mumbles to no one specifically, but now it was hanging in the air. Everyone in the jet had heard him.

“Tried that. Make sure you don’t have a clause in your contract that tells you that they can bring you back anytime they need to.” Clint suddenly said, eyes still closed, still appearing to asleep except… he wasn’t.

“Will do.” Steve just answered, because yes, he had heard about that. Had heard Sir losing his shit when he learned that Clint and Natasha had this clause in their contract. As far as he knew Sir’s lawyers were still trying to look for a loophole - or at least to change the current contracts.

And that… just was it. Somehow, Steve felt easier. Sir was probably right - he worked way too much.

The rest of the day just blurred together. The debrief, held short because no one wanted to be there. His chores. Everything. Until his alarm suddenly went off. Reminding him that only two more hours until he had to stop eating. Reminding him to go to bed early. Reminding him that tomorrow, there would be the surgery.

Probably.

It was the fourth rescheduled appointment already. Steve felt bad about that, hating that they had to reschedule again and again. Hating that SHIELD could just… come in between everything in his private life because only four of these fucking thirteen missions had been Avengers missions. And only two of those four missions had absolutely called for all the Avengers, not only some. But no - SHIELD always called for all of them.

Steve took a deep breath and rinsed the pasta.

“I can reschedule if it’s too much tomorrow. I am groggy, wouldn’t blame you if you were half-dead, too.” Sir said behind him before he hugged Steve from behind. Steve closed his eyes, opening them as fast as possible again. He could probably fall asleep just standing there.

“No, Sir. Thank you. I just… it had been a few hard weeks.”

Sir hummed and then untangled from Steve, fetching a plate for himself. None for Steve. He would be hand-fed and Steve… just was glad that he had Sir. That he didn’t need to explain. 

“You meant it? Stepping back?”

Steve shrugged.

“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just… on some days I feel as if SHIELD is just in need of some… errant boys doing their dirty work. On other days I feel useless, just a bystander while SHIELD handles everything. I am tired. Not just now, Sir. I am just… I am just tired.”

Sir nodded and looked at Steve, letting out a small sigh.

“Sounds more like it’s getting worse.”

“Yeah. That, too. I am pretty sure, though, it’s from the conflict between private life and job. I actually thought a few times about giving you the right to decide that for me, too. The job, obviously. But first I’d like to try to find out if it’s actually SHIELD or not. And depending on what I find out, I’d like to come back to that thought.”

“Sounds reasonable. After dinner, there will be no chores for you. Not until after the surgery and even then, only light ones until Doctor Albrecht says you can do as usual. Are you still sure about the general anesthetic? We can switch to local without a problem.”

“No, thank you, Sir.” Steve replied tired and put the pasta and the salad on Sir’s plate.

“Sure. Well, at least it will make sure you really don’t feel anything. It’s not that it matters anyway if you’re awake for it, right? No, for you it’s half the fun not being awake?”

Steve nodded and knelt next to Sir, letting out a relieved sigh and put his head on Sir’s thigh.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning; Medical Aftercare Talk

When Steve woke up, he felt as if someone had put him in cotton. It was a nice feeling, except his tongue, which felt way too big for his mouth.

It didn’t last long, the serum already fighting the anesthetic since Steve had got it.

“... should be not necessary, but to be sure, make sure that it’s applied.” 

Steve blinked, trying to find the source of the voice.

“Sure, doc. If you want to, you can have the notes I’ll going to make.”

Sir. That had been Sir. Carefully, Steve sat up, winced when a bit of pain shot through him.

“Certainly, Mister Stark. It’s an once in a lifetime surgery, after all.”

Steve carefully picked up the glass of water from the nightstand when Sir came in, raising an eyebrow but didn’t say anything else, watching Steve draining the glass. Fetching him some more water. It was a strange feeling to be on the other side of the service. Steve didn’t liked it, he decided.

Sir held up a small bottle.

“This will be applied until the wound has healed completely, every time you went to the toilet. I will apply it, so you’re going to ask me before I have time. You will also tell me if it starts to get urgent. Otherwise, the usual precautions - making sure the wound is clean and cared for, putting on new bandages regularly, no sexual intercourse. It seems that semen are fine as long the wound started to heal, but will need to be cleaned up of course. Still, you are going to wait until Doctor Albrecht clears you for that. If needed, we can put you in a cage.”

Steve blushed when he heard that he now had to ask for permission to use the bathroom. It wasn’t… well, it wasn’t new, exactly, Sir and he had done that a few times. Mostly on their free days. As game. Not… as another rule. But he had liked it, so it wouldn’t be that much of a problem.

“No problem, Sir. I don’t think I’ll need a cage. Anything else I need to look out for?”

Sir shook his head and sat down on the bed, pulling Steve towards him until his head was nestled in the crook where shoulder met the neck. A kiss was pressed to his hair.

“No. Well, the usual things, as I said. Any infections, stuff like that. The doc said yellow-ish liquid would be normal in the first hours. Due to the serum we think that latest tomorrow everything will be healed up anyway. Until then, maybe relieving you of your choices would be the best.”

Steve shook his head, making a desperate sound he’d like to deny.

“Hu?”

“Is… is that an order Sir?” Steve asked, unsure if he overstepped. Sir was silent for a few seconds and Steve couldn’t take it. Something inside him just fought even the idea of having nothing to do, of being… useless, if only for a little while. Steve knew that this wasn’t true but… he just didn’t like it.

“No.” Sir finally said and Steve let out the air he hadn’t known he hold.

“Are there… any indications against doing them?”

This time, Sir shook his head, chuckling slightly.

“No. It was an offer you can take or leave. I just need to know it for the staff. But no SHIELD missions until the Doc clears you for it.”

Steve nodded and carefully pulled back, laying down again, feeling tired again. Sir made himself comfortable on the bed and pulled out his tablet.

“The doc will look after you in a few hours. Only then you will be discharged. Need something?”

“No, Sir. I will just sleep a bit.”


	10. Chapter 10

Steve hadn’t been surprised that Doctor Albrecht had declared his wound is “healing just fine” during the check up. He neither had been surprised that he had been cleared for any non-active sexual activities again. He hadn’t been surprised when Sir had sent him an adjusted schedule containing _’Measuring sessions’_. He had been a bit confused about why there were now two blocks of training on his schedule, his free time cut a bit short. Two times half an hour of training didn’t really do anything for Steve and Sir knew that.

What had surprised him though, that when he went into the lab, there was not only a butt plug sitting on the table but also a chair that looked similar to a gyn-chair - except there was a dildo attached to it.

Steve blushed when he realized that Sir expected him to sit down on that during examination. _Every_ examination.

Sir looked at him with a strange expression of a smirk on his face and a bored one.

“Since you’ve been cleared, we’ll be working on your hole, increasing it’s size. I want an easily fuckable doll, so you’ll adjust and become one. If I would want to have something useless to look at, I could buy it.”

Steve whimpered and nods. Sir looked impatiently at him and chuckled.

“As soon as a cock comes to your attention, you just get a bit dumb, right? Loose the pants and sit on it. Over the next few weeks we will increase the size obviously, but for now that should be enough.”

Steve carefully climbed on the chair, sliding down slowly on the dildo, moaning when it finally hit his prostate. He moved a bit around, just enjoying the feeling until Sir pinched his left nipple. 

“Stop that.” Sir murmured and fetched himself a chair, sitting between Steve’s open legs, carefully removing the bandage.

“How did the meeting with Hill go?”

Steve almost took a double take.

“What?”

“You heard me. Except on missions, your hole will be stuffed any minute now. I don’t expect you to pretend to be a smart boy, but you need to be able to hold up a conversation without showing how desperate you become.”

Steve moaned, taking his eyes away from the hand around his cock. It looked strange now, something clearly missing. 

Sir started to squeeze Steve’s balls.

“Uhm, it went… god, it went okay.” Steve said, breath hitching.

“Hill wants us to… to have a few public appearances as SHIELD affiliates. Told her to… please, I….”

“Told her what?” Sir said sharply, still playing with Steve’s balls but otherwise ignoring Steve completely, doing something on his tablet.

“To run it by… by the press department, they… god, they can tell her if that’s possible.”

Steve was sweating. He felt himself leaking and he just wanted to move. Just _sitting_ here, impaled like it was something normal… it was too much. He wouldn’t be able to do it for a longer time, or every time Sir wanted…

“Good boy. Get down.” Sir said suddenly and let go of his balls, rolling his chair back to the desk. Steve took a few deep breaths and climbed down, making a small sound when the dildo just popped out of him.

“Clean it then crawl over here and present.”

Steve went on his knees and started to suck on the dildo, almost gagging at the taste of silicone and rubber. After a few minutes he crawled over to Sir and bent forwards, shoulders on the ground, and held his cheeks apart, feeling open and exposed. It wasn’t a new sensation, but Steve loved it every time.

“You probably noticed the second slot for training on your schedule. When you get back into the apartment, you should find a new box, varying dildos and butt plugs. The plugs increase in size and shape. You will always wear one from now on. If one starts to get small, you take the next one. The dildos are for your training sessions. You are not allowed to do anything else during that time that to fuck yourself. I don’t care where you do it, but as soon as the slot starts, you have one dildo in your hole and fuck yourself with it. You are not allowed to change it in between, so choose wisely before. No touching yourself, no orgasm. A good whore doesn’t need to come anyway. If anything gets too small, you will lay it out. I will check and have it replaced by something bigger.”

Steve was dripping and short of humping the floor. That sounded wonderful. Sir chuckled and then there was something pushing at Steve’s hole, probably the butt plug. The first of many, if Sir was right.

“It’s easy, darling. You wanted to be trained to be a perfect sex bimbo. We’ll see about the bimbo part, but who wouldn’t like to have a desperate cum dump available whenever they want?”

“Thank you Sir. I love you.” Sir whispered, gasping when a hard hit to his cheek told him to get up.

“I love you, too. Make sure to be on time in the evening.”

That had been over three weeks ago and even though Steve didn’t want to admit it, not really, he was in heaven. Sir had to exchange three toys already, always treating it as a normal thing when Steve put something out again. Even the dildo that’s attached to the chair had been exchanged for a bigger one.

Everything was perfect until…

“Well, looks like it’s starting to grow back.”

Steve feels… disappointed. He didn’t know why. It had been clear from the beginning that his foreskin would grow back.

He didn’t try to think about what that meant for him. What that meant for Sir. What that meant when it came to the nullification. It scared him to even think about how disappointed he was that eventually, everything would grow back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Season of Kink; N4 - Size Kink  
> Written for MCU Kink Bingo; N1 - Humiliation


	11. Chapter 11

Sir must have noticed his foul mood over the next few days.

Sure, Steve still did his chores as expected. Still did his size training… but not with that much enthusiasm anymore, he could admit that.

“Everything okay, dear?” Sir asked one day when they watched some movie Steve couldn’t remember the name off.

“Sure.” Steve said because basically, that was true. Everything was okay.

Sir squinted at him, a frown on his face.

“Okay. I’ve just been wondering, because I thought you would ask for a new operation, or at least to have the psychologists' contact data. If you changed your mind, don’t worry about that, that’s more than fine. I am just… surprised. I thought you’d been happy to go further.” Sir admitted and Steve felt bad. If just only a bit.

“Does it really matter what I want regarding that?” Steve asked, knowing he sounded like a moping teenager. 

“Sure. It’s not my junk, Steve. If you really want to go through it, well, I didn’t choose Doctor Albrecht because of his unbelievable good reputation in the medical field. Well, not only. He’s one of the few doctors who already did such operations. But if there’s something with him, I am more than happy to look for another doctor for you.”

Steve sighed and leaned back, shaking his head.

“No, he’s been great. It’s just… the foreskin grew back.”

Sir looked confused and nodded.

“Yes?”

“It’s just… I’m a bit demotivated. What if the operation only lasts for a few weeks, too?”

“What if it doesn’t? I still have my problems with this. Yours are probably not that quite different, even if they come from the other side of the coin. If everything grows back after a few weeks, I would be relieved, actually. Because then I knew if you would choose a second operation, that you knew what you went into. That I wouldn’t… well, not ruin your life, but, yeah... “

It was Steve’s turn to frown.

“Second operation?”

Sir shrugged, not taking his eyes off the movie that played now the credits.

“Sure. If your junk grows back, but you liked it a lot, I don’t see a problem with having you a second surgery.”

“Oh.”

Steve hadn’t known that this was an option. That Sir would give him this option. Sir looked sad for a short second before he turned off the TV, turning to Steve.

“Listen, the fantasy? It’s nice. I’m not against it. Quite the opposite. But I can’t turn my head off thinking that one day you’ll wake up and hate the decision you made. _I let you make._ It’s… a bit actually like the thing with controlling everything of your life in the beginning. The fantasy is awesome. It does way more for me than you think. But the fear that you realize you made a mistake? That you wake up and hate the situation you are into. Which is why you have free reign at work. Because I don’t want to wake up and…”

“I want that.”

“What?”

Sir blinked, obviously trying to find out what Steve meant.

“You taking charge of my work, too. I want to step back. I like my job, but if it continues like that, I will start to hate it. And for the remaining time, I want you to take charge of it. If they fire me, so be it. The only exception would be in the field.”

Sir was silent for a few minutes before he nodded.

“Sure. I will think about that, Steve.”

“Thank you.” Steve sighed, noting that Sir’s glass had started to get emptier while they talked. He stood up and went into the kitchen, fetching something new.

“That would basically mean that I will cut down your free time, Steve. Especially if you decide to get through the operation. You would have no say in, basically, anything anymore except for negotiating. And even then it would be my decision. You remember that?”

Steve smiled and nodded, knowing Sir couldn’t see him in the kitchen. Yes, that sounded nice.

“I remember, Sir.” Steve said instead, knowing how Sir could spin everything until it reached a negative state. Remembering was neutral.

“Good… I will send you the contact dates for the psychologist. Make an appointment whenever.” Sir said while Steve’s phone was already notifying him of a new message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Season Of Kink; B2 - Submission  
> Written for MCU Kink Bingo; I5 - Authority Kink


	12. Chapter 12

In hindsight, Steve could admit that he could’ve handled it better. Much better. But because he was stupid and didn’t really thought a few steps ahead, it blew up in his face.

Naturally.

“I decided to get nullified. Sir allowed it. I even got circumcised to test out the idea, to see how to handle any modifications down there. Now I’m only trying to work up the courage to ask my psychologist to clear me for the surgery itself. I already had some appointments with her, but the last one would be… I think it’s going to be even more difficult than the first one. I’ve been seeing her for a few weeks now, actually.”

Which probably also hadn't been the smartest way to just tell his best friend for the last century about his plans.

To his defense, he hadn’t thought that Bucky knew what nullification was. 

To Bucky’s defense, the first few months the man had barely slept and had researched so many topics, he had to be an expert in everything.

“You _what now?!_ ” Bucky almost yelled, dropping the weight he had been lifting. Putting a small dent into the floor. Steve was slightly impressed. At least until Bucky was standing right in front of him, looking more dangerous than Steve had ever seen him.

“Was that Stark’s idea? What the fuck, Steve!”

“No, it wasn’t, Buck. Give me some credit, would you?” Steve said irritated, taking a step back. 

Bucky looked… torn. 

“... What? Why would… what?”, the other man asked again, looking lost now. Steve sighed.

“It’s… complicated, actually. You know how I like serving? Well, it’s… mixed with that, somehow. Just being there to service someone. Not necessarily Sir, but overall. Just like with the house chores.”

Bucky stared at him as if Steve lost his mind.

“We are talking about getting your dick cut off. Not about washing the dishes.”

Steve winced. Okay, house chores probably hadn’t been the best things he could’ve compared nullification to.

“No, it’s not.”

“You talked about how… hell, you got circumcised because… of what? You are not religious. Hell, for a long time you said it looked, I quote, _’Weird, somehow’_. What it is now? Weird? Hot?”

Steve swallowed and shrugged, not even knowing why he had said anything to Bucky in the first place.

“It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Steve said, packing together his belongings.

“My ass that it doesn’t matter. It’s one thing to do whatever you’ve been doing with Stark, for god’s sake, that’s… I just try to _understand_ , Steve, why you would…” Bucky yelled and Steve turned around, staring at his best friend. Getting angry.

“Because your body has been fucked with enough, Buck. Because you are my best friend. Because I wanted to avoid standing under the showers someday and you coming in and having a flashback. Because I think it’s something that could make me love my position in my relationship even more. You say you want to understand when you don’t even try to ask your questions with an open mind! I don’t judge you for being protective as hell or being suspicious, but give me some fucking credit that I can make my own decisions. I thought about that a bit longer than ten minutes. Do you even know how long it took Sir to even decide to _listen_ to my reasons? No, because you _do not even try_ , Bucky.” Steve yelled back and only stopped because his head pounded, everything feeling unnaturally silent. Steve took a deep breath and turned around, knowing if he would stay they would either start a physical fight or scream at each other long enough that JARVIS would alarm someone. Probably both.

“Consider yourself informed then, Buck.” Steve said, walking out of the gym. Taking his mobile out and looking for the psychologist’s contact info, sending a short text to have a driver available.

It took forty-eight seconds until Doctor Tilson picked up.

_”Tilson?”_

“Hello Doctor Tilson, this is Steve Rogers speaking.”

_”Steve! I am surprised to hear from you. Do you need to reschedule the appointment?”_

“No… actually, I wanted to ask for a longer one. I think… Well, I just told Bucky about my plans, and intend to talk to my employer now and… then, hopefully, get to have an appointment to be cleared for the surgery. But I thought, maybe you wanted to talk about the other things first…?”

If he put it like that, it sounded stupid. Steve hated sound stupid. On the other end he heard paper rustling.

_“Yes, that’s true, Steve. But then, we actually need to reschedule. How would work Thursday for you, three in the afternoon? That way I can block the afternoon for us. No matter how much time we need, we will have it.”_

Steve knew how lucky he was to get a doctor as dedicated as Doctor Tilson. Now even more than ever.

“Yes… yes, that will work. Thank you.”

_”Okay, I’m writing it down. Until Thursday.”_

“Until Thursday.” Steve agreed and hung up, sending a short text to Sir. It felt strange not asking for permission to go. But then, Sir had given him the permission to make the appointments how he needed it.

Steve stepped outside of the tower and walked to the waiting car. 

Now for the probably hardest battle.

“Hello, Captain.”, the driver said, a man Steve hadn’t seen before. 

“Hello. To the SHIELD quarters, please.”

~*~*~

_It must be a funny thing to observe_ , Steve thought while trying to stare a hole into the wall. Sadly, he wasn’t an observer.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Fury asked, eye twitching and overall looking as if he would have an aneurysm any second now. Hill just stood behind him, looking at Steve as if she wasn’t sure if he was real. Or had gone mad.

“Excuse me, Captain Rogers, could you repeat that, please?”, she asked instead, no emotions in her voice. She was as scary as Peggy had been when she wanted to be.

“I don’t think that SHIELD actually needs my help, or the help from the Avengers for that matter, as much as they pretend to. That SHIELD likes to put up the Avengers as front, as figureheads to show everyone that they are the biggest players on the field. And that’s okay, as long as it doesn’t have an effect on _actual_ Avenger missions and as long as the other members of the Avengers are fine with it. But I am at a point in my life where I have to decide what’s more important, and right now, it’s actually myself. Therefore, I am taking an undefined time of sick leave. If you need to have a medical contact to make sure I am really doing this for health reasons, I can have JARVIS forward the contact info to you and tell my therapist, which you agreed on too, I may add, what she can tell you and what not.”

Hill swallowed, looking shortly as if she wanted to hit something. Then her face was blank again. Bucky had the same skill.

Fury closed his eye, before he looked at Steve again, clearly trying not to scream at him.

“I would ask for how long and if you really thought about that Rogers, but we both know what a bullhead you are, no matter what you’re risking to get your way.”

Steve clenched his jaw, doing his best not to tell Fury to fuck off.

“If ‘getting my way’ means that I still like my job next year? Or in five years? Then yes, I can be a bullhead. I will probably also step back when I’m back from medical leave. I will still be part of the Avengers, I will probably still be their leader. But I refuse to act as a poster boy anymore. I already did that and it was shit. For SHIELD, I’m not much more and I think we all know that. No need to pretend it’s not like that. I think, for SHIELD, that my experience is still useful, but I am an Avenger, Sir. I have no problem to work for both, but if I have to prioritize like now, well, the Avengers are higher than SHIELD. And it took me a long time to even realize that there are still other things, ranking higher than both of them.”

Fury opened his mouth but, for probably the first time since Steve knew her, Hill interrupted her boss.

“You are serious. You can’t just… do that, Captain.”

“Watch me. If you don’t like it, you can of course terminate every contract with me you have. Well, now I have to go, but I will have JARVIS send you those contact dates. Sir. Ma’am.”

Steve nodded lightly and turned around, only his stubbornness and military training preventing him from just running.

Neither Fury nor Hill called after him. Neither came after him. Steve was… relieved. Steve took his mobile out and pressed on speed dial for Sir as soon as he was out of the building, getting into the car again. He didn’t trust SHIELD to just… listen into every conversation happening in and outside their building.

 _“Hey, darling.”_ Sir’s cheery voice greeted him.

“Hello. I just… I wanted to tell you that I informed SHIELD about my decision. I mean, that I will step back after medical leave.”

 _”Oy! That’s not fair, I would’ve loved to see their face! Why did you had to do that without me! Please tell me there’s a video feed!”_ Sir cried out, getting Steve to laugh.

“I don’t think so, Sir. But you can try to find one. It was hilarious.”

He hesitated shortly before he decided to fuck just everything. The whole day people had tried to tell him what he should want to do except the person Steve wanted to tell him what he should do.

“I also decided that I would love to… start now. With the further restrictions. Or, well, tomorrow, probably or whenever it’s convenient for you. Just.. to get used to it.”

 _”Sure, Cap. Let me think about it, we can talk later. Now I have to go or Pepper will stab me with her heels and I am certainly not in the mood to have my brain picked out by a stiletto. So, bye! I love you!”_ Sir said and hung up before Steve could reply. 

Steve chuckled and put his phone back into his pocket, just looking outside the window, deciding that he would try to talk Bucky later that day. He was on a roll, after all.

~*~*~

Steve hadn’t felt exhausted as he was now in a long time. He wasn’t tired just… it had been a long day. And to top everything, Sir was later than usual. Not that he had a set time, but he usually made sure to be there around seven. Now it was already eight and Steve had been kneeling already for one and a half hour and he just wanted… he didn’t knew. On the one hand he wanted Sir to pet him, to tell him how good he had been. On the other hand, Steve just wanted to get a hard slap in the face and get told to suck Sir off.

It took Sir almost another thirty minutes until he opened the door.

“Hey, darling. Meeting took a bit longer than expected.” Sir said and petted Steve. He didn’t answer and pushed his face into Sir’s crotch, just content with Sir finally being home.

“Hard day?”

That was a direct question. Steve just couldn’t get his mouth to work as fast as he would’ve liked.

“Yes, Sir. Just… Bucky and I fought, now he’s refusing to talk to me, which is okay but hard. SHIELD was hard. Rescheduling the appointment was disappointing and… today was just unusual long, Sir.” Steve answered honestly, moaning quietly when Sir started to tug at a few strands of hair.

“Need to be put down, Steve? Hard or soft?”

Steve didn’t knew why, but he felt the tears raising. He couldn’t. Sir wanted a decision and today had already been hard and now Sir wanted Steve to say what he wanted, and Steve didn’t even knew _what_ it was that he wanted, or needed or…

“I see. Well, we’ll find something.” Sir said, voice changing slightly before pushing Steve down to all fours before making his way into the kitchen.

“Come on, you can keep my cock warm while I eat.”

Steve crawled after Sir, already crawling under the table when a hard kick stopped him.

“Hump the table first. Let me see how fuck dumb you get. You are allowed to stand up.”

Steve blushed, but stood up and positioned himself on one of the rounded edges, moaning when his cock connected with the cool surface of the table. Steve started to move his hips, eyes never leaving Sir, who switched from looking at this phone to look at Steve.

It took Steve barely five minutes before it became to much.

“Sir, I.. please, I think I’m going to…”

“If you come I’ll bust your balls so much you won’t need a surgery anymore, whore. But I’m nice, get under the table and start.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Steve whispered while getting back on all fours. Sir had already opened his pants and Steve just had to lean forward.

The next kick connected right with his cock.

“Spread your legs, _doll_. Wide enough that everyone could see the plug. That everyone could see what a good fuckhole you can be.”

Steve whimpered and spread his legs, straining his neck to reach Sir’s cock. Making an embarrassing thankful noise when he finally closed his lips around Sir. He heard Sir picking up the silverware.

“I think we’ll start to refer to you like that. Doll. Or better, Dolly. Just a plaything. I thought about getting you trained to act like the stupid fuck whore you want to be when you hear that word. Maybe in combination with something. Just like you wanted, practically sniping with my fingers and you become a brainless sweet bimbo, only wanting to get fucked. How does that sound?”

Steve moaned but otherwise didn’t do anything. Sir hadn’t allowed him to do something. But it sounded wonderful. Just what he had wanted. To get conditioned, but only for certain situations.

Sir chuckled, but the only other sounds that came from above the table were Sir eating. In between, Sir just pressed Steve’s head a bit closer and started to piss down his throat, letting Steve swallow everything.

Steve was very careful to not make a sound.

And then, finally, Sir put the silverware down for the last time, taking his cock from Steve’s mouth.

“Yes, we will do that. I’m still thinking about the other stimulus to reduce you to the dumb thing you are, but for now, we’ll stick to the name. What is it?”

Steve swallowed, feeling the heat rise. Sir grabbed his hair and pulled him harshly out from beneath the table. A hard slap followed.

“Do...Dolly, Sir.”

“Wow, it can talk when getting slapped around. Surprise. How will I refer to you when I am talking about you?

“However you want, Sir.” Steve answered. This was an easy question because it didn’t matter. For Steve it wasn’t important how Sir referred to him. Not even in front of the team or in public.

Two fingers were pushed into his mouth.

“That’s almost right. If I want to call you a cumdump, then you will be one. If I think you’re more of a fuckhole on a certain day, that will be your name. I’m not blaming you for being to stupid to not know the right answer.”

Steve started to breath heavily. It had been the right answer, hadn’t it been?

“Well, I will reword it. How will I call you in public when there’s no emergency?”

Steve thought about it. Every mission would be an emergency. But what else could Sir me….

Steve blushed heavily when he realized what Sir meant.

“Dolly, Sir.” Steve whispered trying to avert his eyes. Sir just pushed his head up again, smirking cruelly down. Dolly was harmless enough. Everyone would think it would be just another nickname. No one would know what it really meant.

“That’s right. Because you’re just a Dolly to play with, right? Whenever and however I want. Always reminding you of your place. Now, an easier question that even you should be able to answer. How will you refer to yourself when I didn’t explicitly gave you the permission to do otherwise?”

Steve smiled, his head starting to get fuzzy. Sir took his fingers out and slapped them lightly against Steve’s cheek.

“Dolly, Sir.” Steve whispered.

“Louder, whore.”

“Dolly, Sir. It will be Dolly.”

Sir smirked and stood up, taking something out of a kitchen drawer.

“Tits up, Dolly.” Sir ordered. Hastily, Steve knelt up, pushing his chest out.

“Yeah, I think I’m going to get those ringed.” Sir mumbled and then suddenly put clamps on his nipples. Steve flinched and barely bit back a moan. Sir just ignored him and connected the clamps with a chain, using the other end as a leash.

“Back down. Now we’ll control how sloppy you managed to get your cunt. And if you did good, who knows, maybe I will even let you fuck a big dildo while I fuck your mouth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the MCU Kink Bingo; I2 - Name Calling  
> Written for the Season Of Kink; N3 - Free Kink


	13. Chapter 13

The day after he got woken up by Sir, long before his waking time. Or, to be more precisely, by a buttplug that suddenly vibrated.

“Wake up, Dolly. Time to get over your new schedule” 

Steve moaned and then the vibrations suddenly stopped. Hastily he crawled out of the bed and looked for Sir.

“In the living room, Dolly.”

The plug started vibrating again and Steve almost doubled over. It was way too early for that. And then, nothing again

Sir was already dressed, a cup of coffee in front of him, another cup sitting on the table for Steve on the other side of the coffee table, his kneeling pillow in front of it.

“Good morning, Sir.” Steve mumbled and knelt on his pillow. Sir smiled at him and pointed to Steve’s cup. It was perfect.

“You could’ve sent me the new schedule on my phone. Wouldn’t need to get up that early that way, Sir.” Steve mumbled, itching to crawl into Sir’s lap.

“Yes, I could’ve done that. But I think you’ll have questions. Starting with your new toy, or let’s say toys, Dolly.”

As soon as Sir had finished, the plug started vibrating again. Steve moaned, pressing back, and then… it was gone again.

“I modified your plugs. We’ll get you conditioned to the word ‘Dolly’ and the vibrations, getting you dumb.” Sir started, ignoring the twitching from Steve.

“It’s voice-controlled. At the moment only my voice and your voice can activate the vibrations. Try it, tell me what you are.”

Steve hesitated, looking down only to look away from his leaking hard cock again.

“Dolly.” Steve whispered, moaning when the vibrations started again, only for a short time now.

“Louder, whore. And a whole sentence shouldn’t be too difficult for you.” Sir ordered a smirk on his face.

“I’m your Dolly, Sir.” Steve said, still unprepared for the way the toy vibrated against his prostrate.

“Good. I will have your dildos modified like that, too. If I want to, I can program every voice into it or make it open for everyone. I might do that when I think it would be funny. Next thing is your new schedule.”

Sir slid a piece of paper over the table for Steve, who just blinked at it. 

“Just because I want a fuck toy, it doesn’t mean it can’t look good. That’s why your training sessions increased like that. I also cut down your free time a bit, sluts don’t need that much anyway. Instead, you’ll find a few different kinds of training taking its place. Read aloud, Dolly, and tell me what you think they are for.”

Steve swallowed. ‘A bit’ was an understatement. Where Steve had almost five hours of free time per day, it got cut short to two and a half hours. He felt himself clenching when the last vibration stopped.

“Uhm… one new is... is cunt training, Sir.” Steve said, his voice cracking a bit.

“Maybe that’s where I… where Dolly takes care to stretch myself? Itself?”

Sir smirked.

“For now, you’re allowed to be a person. To stretch _what_ , Dolly?”

Steve yelped and bent over a bit. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“My… Dolly’s c.. cunt, Sir. I will take care to stretch my cunt then, Sir.”

“Good. Continue.”

Steve looked over the new slots, but couldn’t really explain what they are. He just knew that they made him blush because Sir had probably an exact idea of what they were for. And the vibrations certainly didn't make it easier to concentrate.

“Edging, Sir, and Bimbo training. But Dolly doesn’t know what you expect from me during this.”

His other training, now labeled as ‘Fucktoy training’ hadn’t changed, so he didn’t really see why there was suddenly an edging slot added every second day.

“When this talk is over, I will put an ice pack on your pathetic cock and watch you squirm. After that, it will be locked away until you have an appointment with someone who will make one or two replicas from your cock. One for myself, if I find that I’d like to get fucked in between but need someone to do it who knows how to fuck someone. And one I will use to fuck you with it after we got rid of that useless thing down there. I’m nice like that, letting you keep your cock to fuck yourself with. During the Edging training, JARVIS will unlock the cage and you will edge yourself for the whole time. I don’t care how or with what as long as it was designed for sex. Say thank you, Dolly.”

Steve yelled, pretty sure that the vibrations were stronger now. Or he was just more sensitive.

“Thank you, Sir. Oh god, thank you so much.” Steve rambled, not believing his years. Not believing how lucky he was that Sir actually had put so much thought in it.

“You’re welcome, Dolly. Bimbo training is easy. During that time, the only thing you need to do is learning how to present yourself the best, sluttiest way. Learn a few mantras JARVIS will provide for you. As it’s not something we will need on a regular basis, it’s only once a week. I will probably remove it once I’m happy with your behavior, replacing it with another Fucktoy session. Because that’s the most important training for you, which is why you will get up half an hour early every morning from now on. Be quiet, I don’t take it too kindly if you should wake me up just because your slutty brain can’t shut up.”

“Yes, Sir. Thank you.” Steve whispered, only looking at his new schedule. When had Sir come up with it? He had to have put so much time into it!

“You will now address me as Sir everywhere, even on the battlefield. That’s the only active change while we are doing our work. Everything SHIELD related will have to be run through me first for now. Any questions so far?”

Steve looked at the small, additional spot, the one that didn’t have a time on it. 

“Uhm, yes, Sir. Desperation?”

“Oh, yes. Desperation training is also pretty easy, but I will tell you if you have that. It could be any given time of the day, during your chores, I can cut short another time spot for it or cut down your free time that way. It’s the one thing to keep you on your toes, Dolly. When I tell you that it’s desperation training, your useless cock will also get unlocked from the cage. You will edge yourself, hump something, or try to fuck something new into your cunt. But you are not allowed to use any sex toys for it. We want to train your brain to see that everything can be used for edging or for fucking you. So, for example, you can hump the table or the bed, but not the spanking bench. You can fuck yourself with the bedpost, but not with a dildo. Desperation time is usually forty-five minutes. If you are in a common area, like the gym, you may add fifteen minutes to get away from the public. JARVIS will time it. Which brings me to the last toy.”

Steve swallowed, trying to think straight. It was too much. He would never be able to remember everything from this delicious new torture. God, how he wished Sir would already take out the ice pack. Instead, he held up an inauspicious bracelet.

“You will wear that from now on. It has a tracker in it for JARVIS to track you outside and for me to track you whenever I want. Nanites, you won’t be able to get rid of it except when you safe word or when I order them to.”

Before Sir had already finished speaking, Steve already stretched out his right arm, smiling when Sir put it on him. It closed around his wrist, molding itself like a second skin.

“Thank you,” Steve said again, not knowing what else to say. Hoping that the graduation came through. Sir just nodded and put a cock cage on the table while standing up. It was small enough that Steve could already feel it pinching slightly, but not uncomfortable. Just enough when his cock would go hard.

“Any other questions, Dolly?”

Steve moaned when the plug started again, eyes fixed on the cock cage.

“I… I am just… will Sir allow Dolly an orgasm? It’s been so long and I’ve got the feeling that Dolly could just come from the lightest touch…”

“Oh, is that so? Then we’ll need to do something about it in the evening, right?” Sir asked, voice indifferent and Steve knew he made a terrible mistake. Sir _never_ sounded that indifferent when Steve asked for an orgasm. Never. 

Sir took a hard grip on Steve’s hair and pulled him up, leaving Steve barely any time to process the pain when there was suddenly an icy cold wrapping his cock. Steve screamed, couldn’t help himself to fuck up into the ice pad until his erection had gone down.

“Good Dolly.” Sir praised him but keeping the pack pressed to his cock, preventing it from even twitching. Then Sir let the ice pack fall on the table and fetched the cock cage, putting it on with a practice that scared Steve as much as he found it hot.

“Oh, and before I forget it, you have an appointment at nine to get your nipples pierced.”

“Sir?” Steve asked, confused. Sure, Sir had played with that idea but just making an appointment…?

But it didn’t matter, Steve realized. It didn’t matter if Steve even wanted to have them pierced. His body was Sir’s to modify.

“Yes, you’re going to get them ringed. I want to see how big they need to get until it stops being funny. Be on time for lunch, Dolly, would you? We are going out. As it’s your first week, JARVIS will remind you of your new schedule when needed, displaying it on your bracelet.” Sir said while closing the cock cage, pressing a chaste kiss to Steve’s mouth, leaving his sub just standing there, enjoying the few vibrations going through his body.

~*~*~

When Steve came back from his workout session (a light one, as the lady who had done the piercings, had told him only light exercise until it was healed and Steve didn’t want to risk it), Sir was already home. At least the music indicating it.

“Hey, Dolly.” Sir said, stepping out of the bedroom. Grinning when Steve whimpered when the vibrations started.

“Good evening, Sir.” Steve greeted, feeling himself clench as soon as the vibrations stopped, trying to milk a toy. He felt incredibly stupid for it. He was even more embarrassed that he knew that within a few days, he wouldn’t really notice it anymore because then it was a normal thing.

The kiss Sir gave him promised Steve more than just their usual evening routine. That was when he remembered that Sir had promised that they would _’do something’_ about Steve’s arousal.

“Get undressed, would you? You can prepare dinner then. Something light, at least for you.”

Steve nodded and got out of his clothes, carrying them into the bedroom. Trying to ignore the set up on the bed. Two long ropes, connected to the headboard. Just like the two shorter ropes, probably for his hands. And the longer ones for his ankles. God, he wished he knew already what Sir had planned.

Sir didn’t tell him. Not while Steve prepared a few sandwiches for him and Sir. Not while Sir fed him the sandwich. Not while Steve cleaned up, already sweating because Sir had found a way to put his new nickname into every sentence.

Sir didn’t even tell him when he sent Steve into the bedroom.

“Lay down on the bed, Dolly. Make sure you are comfortable. Lay on the back and spread your legs.”

Steve laid down as Sir had ordered, biting his lip when he realized how he must look.

Sir didn’t comment on it. He just bound Steve’s wrists to the headboard and repeated that action with Steve’s ankles. Leaving Steve with his legs spread and raised, his cock desperately trying to get hard. Then, Sir put a blindfold on him.

“It’s easy, Dolly. You’ve been such a good fuckhole lately, I will allow you to have an orgasm tonight. And afterward, I continue to be nice to you. To get used to your new life as a useless fucktoy, I will have you in chastity afterward. Ninety minutes for every stroke you need to come. But, as you said, you are already bursting and just a small touch will trip you over the edge, I don’t think it will be that long for my little Dolly, right? I am even nice enough to count for you.”

Steve groaned, trying to press into the vibrations, frustrated that it didn’t work.

“What do you say, cunt?”

“Thank you, Sir.” Steve said, moaning when he felt Sir opening his cock cage, screeching when Sir started stroking him before the cage was even put to the side.

He lost count after the nineteenth stroke.

“Well, look at that… 28, 29, 30, 31… that’s a lot of strokes, cumdump. That’s… what already? Forty-six and a half hours? I mean, for you, that means practically nothing. You love being in chastity way too much for that, right? And I mean, you must be so close already, Dolly…. let’s take that plug out. We don’t want you to have anything distracting you.”

Steve whimpered when the hand disappeared, right before he was close enough to come. Sir just pulled the plug out of Steve, still vibrating a bit.

“I’ll be right back, just putting this in the sink for you to clean later.”

Steve wanted to scream but knew that nothing would come out of it. And he would need to clean the plug later. So it wasn’t that big of a hassle. Except it was because Sir was probably gone for five minutes and when he came back and grabbed Steve’s cock again, Steve was anything, just not near the edge.

“Okay, let’s start again.”

The next few strokes were fast, way too fast for Steve to keep track. Sir never did anything else. Just stroking his cock. Not teasing his now again uncut tip. Not his balls. Nothing. Just plainly stroking Steve. It was torture.

“93, 94, 95… welp, that’s adding up, Dolly, that’s unbelievable.” Sir started again, chuckling when Steve started to clench down on nothing when Sir called him Dolly.

“I mean, sure, we are higher now, but, 95 strokes are what…? God, I didn’t do anything math-related in weeks, it’s showing… let’s see, a bit more than six days? Sure, still only a blink of an eye for a whore like you. You will probably keep yourself busy stretching out that sloppy hole of yours. I mean, it’s very obvious with how much it tries to get something in it. Now, wait for a second, I have to go to the bathroom.”

This time, Steve let out a frustrated groan when the hand disappeared again, right in time before he could even start feeling _especially_ good.

While Sir was away, he could feel his hole clenching, trying to get in _something_. Could feel his cock leaking a steady stream of precum. Could feel his desperation grow because Steve already knew that Sir would take his time.

“So, there I am again. we can continue.” Sir said in a cheery voice and for the first time in a long time, he found that he really wanted to hit Sir.

That didn’t change when Sir sighed and the hand disappeared again, leaving Steve to cry out.

“Yeah, sorry cumdump. My hand’s been starting to cramp up. I mean, we are at 208 strokes now. That’s… wow, thirteen days where your little useless cock won’t be allowed to even twitch.”

“Please… Sir, I can’t, so close, please…” Steve finally brought out, trashing in the ropes.

“Oh, what? What a shame… I’m going to start in a sec again when the cramps are lessening. Welp, I had no idea. But then, I hadn’t had to use my hand to stroke myself since… I absolutely have no idea. How long has it been since your pussy is open for me twenty-four/seven? Well, long enough, anyway. And we both know how rare it is that a cockslut like you needs to get more than a couple of strokes to come all over itself. I’ll be back in a sec, just getting some ice, and then we’ll continue.”

Steve cried out in frustration when Sir stood up. God, his cock had to be purple by now. He could barely feel his balls but then, they were always present because they were _so full_ , so heavy. Just… almost hiding inside Steve’s body.

Sir told him kindly that they needed to stop at stroke 287 because Sir was hungry. Steve couldn’t even beg anymore.

“There, there, Dolly. I am sure you’ll manage to come tonight. I understand, stupid cumdump like you, usually just gets used is probably all confused why it suddenly gets so much pleasure. We are now at 302, 303, 304…” Sir said and then his phone started to ring. Steve opened his mouth, but Sir had already stood up.

“Oh man, 19 days already. The whore must really love its chastity…. Hi Pepper!.... No, you are never interrupting…”

Steve just closed his eyes behind the wet blindfold, trying to get his breath under control. All effort was gone as soon as Sir wrapped his hand around Steve’s cock while he was still on the phone. Only when Sir addressed him directly, Steve realized that Sir had already hung up a long time ago.

“333 now, Dolly. Hell, that are almost 21 days now… it’s quite a number already. Are you sure, though, that you need to cum?”

The hand disappeared again and Steve sobbed, trying to form words but couldn’t. Thankfully, the hand came back a few minutes later. Stroking up and down, ignoring how Steve trashed in his ties, ignoring the sobbing.

“... 539, 540… you know, Dolly, I am confused. First, you begged me for an orgasm, telling me how close you were and now you seem to refuse to come when I am being so nice to you. Seriously, I have other things to do, too. In fact, I wanted to reach out to Doctor Albrecht and he told me he would have time later in the evening. Stay here and think about how ungrateful you are.”

Steve cried in earnest now, not being able to listen to Sir on the phone - which meant he didn’t realize that Sir came back. At least not until the strokes picked up again.

“... 601, 602, 603… You’re already a bit over a month now, Dolly… That’s a lot. Do you want to stop? Oh, sorry, I forgot, you’re too fuck dumb now. Well, I’ll just assume that you want to continue. After all, you’ve been asking for an orgasm, so you’ll get an orgasm, Dolly. I’m nice like that.”

It took Steve 832 strokes to finally come after Sir had interrupted him three times more, chiding his Dolly again and again for drawing it out.

“Thank you, Sir, thank you so much for letting your Dolly come, thank you, oh god, please, thank you so much for being so nice to Dolly.” Steve rambled, hating how his name sounded in his own head, ignoring the voice that told him it was wrong, that he should despise the feeling that Dolly just sounded… better now.

Sir chuckled and wiped Dol… Steve’s cock clean before putting it in its cage again.

“52 days, Dolly. Almost two months. Do you want to make it for two months? Being so desperate you rut your caged cock on anything, sticking everything you can find in your cunt? Maybe I even let you play with those fancy new rings on your tits, who knows?”

“Yes, yes, Sir, please, two months, please lock Dolly away, just make Dolly a desperate toy, please, Sir.”

Sir removed the blindfold, grinning down on Do… Steve.

“That’s a good fucktoy. Now, two months to get used to being nothing more than a fuckhole. Who knows, maybe we’ll get rid of those pieces without you having an orgasm again. But well, first we need to wait at least two months, right? Wouldn’t want to cut your reward short.”

Steve grinned dopily, knowing how stupid he looked, but he didn’t care. Sir had let him come and would lock him away for the longest time ever! Already thinking about denying him before they got rid of his balls and cock! It must be his happy day. As soon as the ropes around his wrists and ankles came down, Doll… Steve moved ungracefully on all fours again, spreading his cheeks and presenting his empty hole, moaning when his new piercings came in contact with the sheets.

“Please, Sir, Dolly feels empty.”, he murmurs, ignoring the shame and embarrassment when Sir just laughed and put a hard slap directly on his hole.

“Yeah, thought so. We’ll need something bigger now, right? Don’t want to leave your cunt that tight.” Sir said almost as if Do… Steve’s hole didn’t gape open two inches right now.

He was in heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Season of Kink; N5 - Chastity Device/Orgasm Control  
> Written for MCU Kink Bingo; G4 - Anal Gaping


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I ever told you how bad at counting and math I am?
> 
> No?
> 
> Okay, so... I miscounted. If I counted right the fic has 21 chaps... not 18....
> 
> *waddles away whistling*

Whoever made up the legend that, due to his serum, he couldn’t get sick need to get punched. Hard.

But that would need to wait after Steve had finished throwing up.

Sure, he probably wasn’t the kind of sick that suspended him to the bed for days. Those days were gladly over. Also, he had no time to be sick. Sir had given him a bit more free time today and Steve had thought about cooking Sir’s favorite pasta dish. He just needed to buy the ingredients for it, first. And to leave the house. And be on time for his work out.

And on top of that, his nipples were itching and hurting when they hit the toilet bowl when Steve straightened up a bit. Almost the same itching he had when Sir put a bigger piercing in them. But he hadn’t gotten a bigger one for days, so it couldn’t be like that.

Usually, on days like these, he could talk to Bucky about it. Well, not everything, but most of it. But they haven’t talked since their fight. And Steve missed not having Bucky to talk to. But the other man had just ignored him at every meeting, always disappearing first as fast as possible and Steve really didn’t want to force himself on him.

Steve stood up with a small groan. Everything just hurt.

“Captain Rogers, would you like me to get a doctor or to contact Sir?” JARVIS asked from the ceiling. Steve shook his head, looking at the clock. In twenty minutes the stretching would start. He would probably need a bigger plug tomorrow, latest the day after tomorrow. God, even the thought about removing his clothes and putting them on again hurt.

“No, thanks JARVIS, it’s nothing important enough to disturb him. But could you tell me please if Sir’s schedule has changed? I want dinner to be on time today.”

“Nothing has changed, Captain Rogers.” JARVIS said. Steve pretended he didn’t hear the judging tone.

“Thanks, JARVIS.” Steve said instead, rummaging through the toy chest Sir had gotten him, getting out a ribbed dildo, almost as big as Sir’s fist. He should ask Sir to fist him tonight. Maybe they could even train his hole to be sloppy enough to just… do it without any preparation. He had to take a look into it if it was possible.

“Captain Rogers, Sir instructed me to tell you that for the next fifteen minutes you’ll have assigned desperation time, and only afterward you can continue with stretching.”

Steve nodded, already feeling the remote-controlled cock cage opening. Hastily, he removed his jeans and he climbed on the bed, ignoring the way his skin hurt when it came in contact with the usual soft sheets. Today, they felt like sandpaper. He still took his pillow (his own, not Sir’s, he wasn’t that stupid) and started rutting into it while taking out the plug, hissing at how sensitive he was. He probably needed more lube, he had to think about it during size training. Blindly, Steve grabbed around the nightstand when he found the remote. He put a condom on it and pushed it in, realizing again how sensitive he was when the buttons caught at his rim. He still fucked himself on the remote while he rutted the pillow that still felt like sandpaper. 

Only, like, thirteen minutes more, Steve told himself, ignoring the small voice in his head that he had an hour size training in front of him, too.

Steve blinked the tiredness away and continued.

~*~*~

Nothing really wanted to work out today. He had to go to the shop three times today. Just to realize that he still forgot something. But even the thought of going out made Steve start to sweat so he asked JARVIS to have everything delivered.

Then he had realized that instead of chicken he bought turkey. And limes instead of lemons.

And his fucking nipples hadn’t stopped itching, which sends more than confusing signals to his cock. Maybe he needed to tell Sir that they were itching. Later, when he was back again. 

But now, the more important thing - dinner. And it’s the wrong ingredients. 

Well, nothing he couldn’t workaround, right?

“Captain Rogers, my sensors are picking off a higher heart rate. Would you like me to inform someone?” JARVIS asked. Steve blinked, JARVIS was right, his heart rate was higher. He hadn’t realized due to the headaches. When was the last time he had something to drink?

“Uhm, no JARVIS, no need to disturb anyone. I’m just… I think I need to drink something.” Steve said. When he felt the water was cold, he flinched back by the way it hurt.

~*~*~

When it was finally dinner time, Steve felt better. Kind of. He was exhausted and tired, but he didn’t have to puke again, his nipples were only itching then and now and the dizziness got better.

He even managed to get dinner finished on time and kneel at the door when Sir came through!

But when Sir patted him on the head, as usual, it hurt and Steve barely kept himself from flinching.

“Stand up, Dolly. You can eat at the table.”

“Thank you, Sir.”, Steve said, standing up and… took a grip at the door frame. Okay, maybe a little bit dizzy, that happened.

Sir squinted at him.

“Steve? Everything okay?”

“Yes, Sir. Just not feeling one hundred percent.”

“JARVIS? Health data for Steve, please.”

Steve almost signed. He just wanted to eat and then hopefully be allowed to go to bed early.

“Captain Rogers shows all signs of food poisoning or a cold. He had to vomit two times today. His heart rate and pulse are higher than usual. He commanded the temperature to be higher and lower on random patterns, seemingly not being able to hold his body temperature. In Addition to that, he seems to experience dizziness and he seems to be oversensitive to touch, especially in his chest area.”

Sir stared into nothing before his eyes snapped to Steve, making him feel as if he had done something wrong.

“And why wasn’t I informed of this, JARVIS? No, you shut your mouth, stupid thing.” Sir commanded when Steve opened his mouth.

“As Captain Roger’s vital signs didn’t indicate an emergency I left it to himself to contact anyone. He refused my offer to contact the medical personnel or you, to prevent from, I quote, disturbing anyone.”

Sir looked disappointed and Steve didn’t know why. Only that he felt bad.

“Steve, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I still had a few chores to do and to keep my schedule, Sir.” 

Sir sighed and shook his head.

“Yes, and I admire your stubbornness and so on. But if you are feeling sick, unwell, whatever you want to call it, you tell me. We already talked about that when the depression started to get worse. You disobeyed a direct order from me and one that could endanger your well-being, too.”

Steve felt cold, but this time not because he was sure that the temperature had been sinking.

“I am sorry, Sir, I…:” Steve started, but Sir waved him off.

“I understand your reasons. You will still get punished when you feel better. For tonight and tomorrow, you won’t have any chores nor schedules to keep. JARVIS will track that. You can do whatever you like as long as it’s not straining. If JARVIS recommends a doctor, you will go. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.” Steve whispered, feeling nauseous again. Sir nodded and pointed to the kitchen.

“Let’s eat, dear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Season of Kink; N1 - Ownership


	15. Chapter 15

“I am not wearing this.”

Steve stared at the… thing Sir had put on the table. It wasn’t the cage. He had worn a cock cage longer and more often than he could count. It was more… the rest of it. The tube that led to the, admittedly, enormous plug. Making sure that the only way Steve could take a piss was when he gave himself an enema. Every time. 

“Yes, you will for the last sixteen days of your punishment.” Sir said, voice even. Steve ground his teeth and shook his head. He felt uneasy, somehow wrong. Sir hadn’t let him do _anything_ the past two days until whatever he caught disappeared again and Steve was feeling as if he hadn’t visited the gym for days.

“But I didn’t do anything wrong, _Sir_ ” Steve said, spitting the last word out. Why the hell did he got punished because he cared for Sir’s work and didn’t want to disturb him? Hell, he’d been sick longer in his life than not. He handled it.

“Of course not, _Steven_. You just didn’t tell me when you are feeling unwell and then refused to listen to me and still tried to keep your schedule and your chores. No big deal.”

“It isn’t!” Steve yelled and he knew that he would hate himself later for it. But right now, he was angry.

“You had meetings to attend and I’ve been sick that often in my life, it would be easier to give you a timeline for when I wasn’t sick in any way. There was no need to disturb you and there’s no rule to inform you when I feel a bit queasy. It’s not important and I am not a fucking chil…”

“Kaleidoscope.”

Steve froze and fell silent, staring at Sir as if he’d grown a second head. Sir just sighed, suddenly looking tired.

“... what?” 

“You heard me.”

“I… don’t need to neg…” Steve started, but Sir just raised his hand to silence Steve.

“Oh, you don’t need to? My property - yes, property, because we both agreed that this is what you are - decided to mistreat its owners property. Then it’s having the gall to tell me that it’s unimportant how my property is treated when I made myself clear, several times, that I want to know when my property thinks anything, no matter what, goes wrong. And even though I didn’t give it any permission to do so, the word ‘“I’ is quite often again used instead of what I decided is your name now when I don’t say anything else. For me, that practically screams negotiation.” Sir said, voice steady and even, but so much anger in his eyes that Steve tried to look somewhere else. It didn’t work.

“If you absolutely don’t want to accept the punishment - okay. Then you can do this because this is us negotiating, even though you expressed several times the wish to have this safe word taken away, to have _me_ making the decisions, to punish and correct you how I like it. If you absolutely don’t want that, I can add whatever disturbs you at this punishment on your ‘No-Go-List’. That’s a very valid thing, likes are changing, limits are changing. I can always find something else. If you are just trying to be stubborn and petty, then it’s still your right to do so right now.”

Steve opened his mouth but closed it again when Sir just continued to talk.

“I am not finished. If it’s the latter one, I will absolutely refuse to let you go under surgery. I won’t allow it. If you want to break up because of this, this would be your decision. But in probably a few weeks' time, you’ll have an operation, a surgery, which puts you in a position that you not only might need help, but you will certainly need it. Maybe only a few hours, maybe a few months. I don’t know, Doctor Albrecht would have to explain this. But the fact is, you will need help because it can’t be easy to suddenly have any penis or testicles. You will need to tell someone how you feel and if there is anything wrong or feeling off. Even if you think it’s a false alarm. You will need to tell someone because otherwise, you would risk your health in a very unpleasant way. I need to trust you to tell someone. I need to be sure that you won’t be too proud or to… for god’s sake, too idiotic to ask for help. But I can’t trust you to do that if you are already trying to find a way out. If you don’t tell me you aren’t feeling well. This punishment is to make you see that the world isn’t ending just because you ask for something. Or because you interrupt me at anything just because you need to be emptied out.”

Sir sighed and sat down, looking so very tired and Steve just wanted to kneel down and make it better. But he was the reason Sir looked like that in the first place.

“You are important for me, Steve. You are my boyfriend, my partner. Not just my toy. Your health is important. Not only your mental health. What’s the worst thing that could’ve happened if JARVIS would’ve alarmed me? That I would come here and everything's fine again? That I would reschedule meetings due to an emergency? I don’t understand what you think would’ve happened. And it’s not important because we can’t change it. So, I need your answer - is there a valid reason you are refusing the punishment or not?”

Steve sighed too and looked at the cock cage. This would ensure that he would have to disturb Sir at least three times per day. Not counting the mornings and evenings.

“... what if Sir isn’t available?”

“JARVIS will alert me. If I am not available right away you will have to wait. I will move your schedule around if that happens or if I feel like it would benefit from it.”

It would be easy. Steve knew if he said Sir he didn’t want it, then it wouldn’t happen. But there was no reason to refuse. It was a punishment. It shouldn’t feel good. And nothing that would happen is a no-go for Steve. In fact, if Sir would’ve told Steve to put that cage on any other occasion, Steve would’ve probably loved it. Would have loved the humiliation of giving himself an enema with his own urine. The dominance Sir would show for taking away something simple like bathroom breaks. 

“Does… I mean… what about your appointments, Sir?”

“That’s for me to worry.”

It took Steve a few seconds to realize what’s missing. Nothing condescending about how Steve was too stupid to understand it. Or that he shouldn't worry his little pretty head. Sir hadn’t called him Dolly, either and he missed that more than Steve wanted to admit.

“I accept the punishment, Sir, and would like to apologize for being stubborn. The referring is difficult sometimes.” Steve finally said. Sir didn’t call him out on the obvious lie that Steve wasn’t sorry for being stubborn. He just gestured to Steve to drop his pants and nodded.

“I will think about that, but for now, let’s see first if that plug is even big enough for that sloppy cunt of yours.”

~*~*~

It took Steve four days to accept that he would need to contact Sir before the cramps started. 

No, it took Steve two days to accept that. The other two days he tried to find out where the line between _’Pleasantly full and permanent aroused’_ and _’Cramping starts’_ was.

And because Sir knew when Steve asked for help too late, he made Steve wait. Every single time. Not long, but long enough to make Steve realize it would’ve been so much easier to just message Sir twenty minutes earlier.

Three more days until Steve asked on time, relishing the praise he got when Sir removed his butt plug, emptied out Steve’s own urine before cleaning away the last drops and pushing the plug in again.

Only one more day to let Steve stutter through his request to be allowed to suffer in Sir’s workshop before Sir would empty him out. But only when there was time. Never when Steve knew that Sir had an appointment or a meeting or just… something.

Because no matter how much he loved the humiliation, how much he loved the desperation every time to ask to be emptied out, like some… trash can - he hated to ask. He hated to disturb Sir, even if Sir wasn’t busy. He hated to feel like a burden.

And as much as Steve loved the love-hate relationship with his punishment, he was more than glad when Sir while fucking his mouth just bend over, not caring if Steve choked, barely biting out a _” Clench down, Dolly._ before he pulled the plug out. Leaving Steve empty, realizing with a mix of horror, embarrassment, and arousal that, even though he clenched down, that it didn’t work. He could feel his urine dribble out of him. Realizing that he couldn’t close anymore.

Sir groaned and came down his throat, just keeping Steve where he was for a bit before he laughed.

“Well, I am surprised, Dolly. Wouldn't have thought that it would work. Can’t even close this fuckhole. I’m going to remove the cage and then you can lick it up. And make sure to not dirty up anything else. I will put a new plug out for you to stuff your cunt with. When you’re finished, come down to the workshop. Time to stretch your teats a bit more. Think about if you want to have bells on them or clamps.”

Steve groaned when Sir removed the cage without letting Steve up. He couldn’t wait to get to the bigger size. He already looked ridiculous, his nipples already stretched with a 6 gauge, almost always moving on his seat to fuck the plug deeper into himself. Sometimes just grinning dumbly like Sir had taught him to, pushing his chest out. Sometimes even pouting.

Looking like the perfect dumb fuck thing just there for Sir’s amusement.

SHIELD hadn’t called him on a mission in ages, Steve realized while bending down and started to lick up his own mess, thinking about the choices Sir had kindly given him.

The bells would look ridiculous. Sir would love it, would make Steve move around a lot just to hear them jingle. Clamps would stretch his nipple a bit more, making them look way bigger on a permanent basis.

While he fucked the plug into himself, screeching when whenever he grazed his prostate it sent out a small electrical shock through his body, he decided he would ask Sir for both. The clamps for every day and the bells for when they were alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Season of Kink; B3 - Dirty  
> Written for MCU Kink Bingo; I3 - Objectification


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING; Medical Talk.
> 
> This chapter contains medical talk only! For those of you who are squicked by that - Doctor Albrecht explains Steve how the surgery will be done.

Steve was fidgeting. He didn’t know how to sit. Usually, it was time for his edging session and he missed it. Well, not exactly missing, maybe. It was more like an itch that he couldn’t scratch. Just the feeling that he should be doing something else.

The shocks from the plug were nice. Torture for his caged cock, but the best kind.

“Stop fucking yourself on that thing, Dolly, or I’m going to crank that shocks high enough that Thor would be envious.” Sir chided Steve and pinched a nipple shortly, putting even more pressure on the clamp.

Steve moaned quietly.

“I’m just nervous, Sir.”

Sir smiled and let go of his nipple, making the bell chime slightly. 

“I know. But nothing happens today. Just… a few people talking about things that are possible, okay? No pressure, no hurry.”

“Yes. It’s just… a bit like the day I went to my first day in basic training. I knew that I wanted it, but I didn’t really know what it would contain, you know?”

Sir laughed and shook his head. No, of course, Sir wouldn’t know. At least not how it felt to just suddenly be at a military camp in the 40s.

“You could give me an incentive, Sir.” Steve grinned, knowing it would just get out another laugh from Sir. But it took his mind off a bit and would put Sir at ease a bit, so it would work for both of them.

Sir snorted.

“Sure. Tell me, Dolly, what kind of incentive were you thinking about? I mean, we both know that your hole is still clenching every time you or I call you Dolly, we both know that you love the new sensitivity your bigger teats are giving you. _You especially_ know how often you are spacing out now, just grinning dumbly, presenting yourself as a cheap whore wherever you are. Your highest incentive is getting your cock and your balls cut off right now, Dolly.”

Steve whimpered, already moving again to get the plug deeper, loving every shock it gave him when it touched his prostate.

“Maybe making… making them bigger Sir? Or, no, just making them even more sensitive. Make it sweet hell for me to even wear shirts?” Steve asked, already imagining how it would look if Sir enlarged his nipples a bit more. They were already very visible through his tighter shirts, especially with the clamps and the bells. People at SHIELD had been looking at him when he went in to give HR his formal medical leave. The people at the grocery store were looking yesterday because Sir had screwed the clamps very tight, putting the tightest shirt on Steve that Sir owned for him. Making him look stupid. Steve had loved it and if they were even bigger, it would work much better.

Sir grinned.

“Well, maybe I should start a blog. ‘How to create a desperate, dumb fuckhole’. I mean, I have documented every step so far. You should look at those first pics, Dolly. Tight cunt, small nipples, useless cock hanging free, looking so earnest. And now? Believe me, it’s absolutely worth it. But yes, depending on how it goes, we can work on making your teats bigger. I am sure it would look funny.”

Steve opened his mouth for an answer but got interrupted when the door _finally_ opened and Doctor Albrecht came out. not even sparing Steve’s nipples a second glance.

“Mister Stark, Mister Rogers. I am sorry for the delay. Come in.”

And just like that Steve was on high alert, following the doctor, Sir trailing behind him, already doing something on his smartphone. He had made it clear that he wouldn’t really talk during their appointment. Maybe ask a few questions, but overall, Sir had said, it was Steve’s appointment. Steve’s own decisions.

Steve was already more than glad for the fact that Sir was here with him.

“Please sit down. As far as I know, you want to talk about the possible penectomy, combined with the removal of the testicles, is that correct?”

Steve sat down, feeling flustered about the crass language.

“Uhm, yes. And maybe about… is it possible to remove the prostate?” Steve asked, ignoring Sir’s short confused glance. It was just a thought that he had a few times already. It had it’s benefits, like receiving no pleasure at all, literally only being a fucktoy, but the biggest counter-argument was exactly that - no pleasure and therefore no desperation. And that was one of the biggest plus points for Steve.

“Yes, it is. It’s actually a quite common surgery, mostly used when the patient has prostate cancer or if there are other complications like an enlarged one. Usually, the risks are erectile dysfunction, involuntary urination, or limited fertility. I assume that those risks aren’t interesting for you, but there’s also the chance for cysts, bleeding, or, in very rare cases, the chance that an infection can lead to cardiovascular diseases. Due to your enhanced healing, I cannot tell you how anything from what I just told you will affect you.”

Steve swallowed. Even if there was even a small chance of somehow contracting a heart disease again, the decision was clear for him.

“Uhm, okay. So a big no, I like my health how it is now. I don’t need the old status quo back for even a minute. I was just curious. But yes, otherwise that sounds correct.”

“Understandable. Okay, so the other procedures. Let’s start with the castration as we will need to go through that before the penectomy. It’s also easier surgery because it’s more common. The area will be shaved, if not already shaven, and I will incise the midpoint of the scrotum, cutting through the tissue. The testicles will be removed just like pieces of the spermicidal cord. Afterward, I will sew everything shut again. If you wish to, we can implant a prosthetic testicle. That way everything will look like you’re used to it. This is also possible for the penis, but it won’t have any functions.”

Steve looked at the medical model Doctor Albrecht had pulled out of the table during explaining. The man had said it was a common surgery, but common enough that there were models where you could take the balls out?

“Uhm, no prosthetics, but thanks for the offer. Will it have any effect on… uhm… they produce the testosterone, right?”

“Usually, a procedure like this can include erectile dysfunction as a side effect, just like the loss of sexual interest, weight gain combined with the loss of muscles or breast enlargement. There is also a chance of osteoporosis. Usually, the patients have to go through hormonal treatment. We will offer this to you, too, of course, because we don’t know how this affects you. We can start right after the surgery as usual or wait.”

Steve nodded, looking at the model again. He wasn’t concerned about any weight issues. His metabolism would take care of that. Same with the muscle mass. No sexual interest would be hard, but it wouldn’t change his reaction to stimulation, so he could live with that. Breast enlargement, though? He didn’t want breasts. It was one thing to have Sir enlarge his nipples, but getting a chest like a dame?

“How can I imagine a breast enlargement in men, Doc?” Sir suddenly asked. Was Sir interested in that? Maybe Sir would like that? But then, he had never said anything about it. He had once said about injections that he could take or leave them.

“Basically an enlargement of both breasts, Mister Stark, making it look a bit more like a female chest. With medicaments, we can prevent that. If the medications don’t work for any reason or if they are used too late for that, there’s always the option of another operation.”

Steve swallowed. Well, better to be informed than to wake up and suddenly needing a bra, right?

“Is it a common side effect?” Steve asked because it didn’t leave his mind.

“Yes, but the sizes vary. Some men barely notice anything, other men’s breasts are sometimes growing to something akin to a C-cup. Those are usually the cases we have that are getting top surgery.”

Steve nodded, feeling his nipples twitch a bit. Then his look fell on the penis of the model.

“Okay. We’ll see. What about the… penectomy?”

“Yes, the removal of the penis. It’s an unusual procedure so there aren’t many known facts to it. Usually used for cancer patients, and then usually only the tip of the penis has to get removed. We will need to remove the erectile tissue, which will result in having to make a bigger incision to remove all of it. Afterward, we can safely remove the skin around it. Now you’ll have two options, Mister Rogers. Option one will be that we won’t relocate the urinary tract. This will lead to having a small bump where your penis used to be. This option has the advantage that we won’t need to relocate everything and therefore, the surgery itself is shorter. Option two is that we will relocate the urinary tract a bit lower, which will lead to a smooth surface where your penis used to be. The disadvantages are that we have to relocate the urinary tract, which could lead to smaller problems with urinations over the first few days. We will also have to create an opening that will ensure that you _can_ urinate. This will also be the case if you decide on a permanent catheter. If not, it takes time to get used to the new way of urination, a bit similar to the way a woman urinates. Both options will lead to having to wear a catheter at the beginning. Both options have the risks of infections, bleeding, and incontinence, permanent or non-permanent. You will probably have to wear diapers for the first few weeks because you need to relearn when you need to urinate. That’s it if you don’t do a permanent catheter. Both options can be done with a permanent catheter. And of course, both options entail that for any urination you will need to sit down. The removal of the penis and the removal of the testicles will probably lead to phantom limbs in between, meaning your brain thinks they are still there.”

God, that was… a lot. Steve didn’t know what to say. His mouth was dry even thinking about the options. Even thinking about the procedure. It sounded so… easy. Sure, with lots of ‘If’ and ‘When’, a lot of complications possible. And still… it sounded perfect.

“I’ve read that orgasms are still possible, but I can’t see how that would be the case?” Steve asked. He saw Sir’s mouth twitching. He probably already _had_ the answer, finding this question very entertaining. Or he planned on leaving Steve desperate forever. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing either.

Steve barely suppressed the urge to stick out his tongue.

“This will only be the case if we will leave the prostate undamaged. Enough stimulation can still lead to an orgasm. You will also experience something similar to an ejaculation, but there won’t be as much liquid as you are used to producing. Reaching an orgasm will also be a bit more tricky but doable.”

Steve swallowed and looked at Sir, who only shrugged, his face devoid of any emotions now.

“Your decision, not mine, Steve.” Sir said and Steve was kind of glad that Sir still stuck with that. But a bit of help would be useful, now. He just didn’t know how to continue. And maybe Sir saw that, saw that Steve was overwhelmed because he turned back to Doctor Albrecht.

“I assume this isn’t a procedure that can just be done and goodbye. What are the options on anesthesia and what things will need to be looked out for, afterward?”

“No, of course not. There are two options, but I would recommend them both due to the serum Mister Rogers carries in him. The first one is full narcosis, which would leave the patient sleeping. The other is a combined spinal and epidural anesthesia, short CSE, which only will affect the lower body and allows the patient to stay awake during the procedure. We will need to use a higher dose either way.”

“Both.” Steve answered, even before the doctor finished. He really didn’t want to wake up on a table and _feel_ someone cutting out his balls or basically pulling out his cock. 

The doctor nodded as if he expected that.

“Afterwards, the patient needs help with having the catheters changed. A nurse will teach you both how to do that. Otherwise, just a lot of rest, a lot of care for the scar. You will both get a few instructions written down for it.”

Steve nodded again, his head overflowing. Then the doctor was suddenly standing and Sir was standing up and Steve hadn’t decided on anything?

“... will think about it, Doc. He looks a bit overwhelmed.”

“It’s only natural. Mister Rogers, take your time to think thoroughly about all the options and procedures. It’s not a decision to make lightly.”

“Yes. Thank you.” Steve said numbly and turned around, leaving the office without waiting for Sir or to shake the doctor's hand. His mother would’ve slapped him over the head if she could have seen his manners now.

But then, she would probably understand that Steve had a few other things on his mind, too.


	17. Chapter 17

Steve was hitting the punching bag with enough force to eventually break it. He knew that already. But he had just so much pent up energy and no real sparring partner, it would come down to it eventually. Just like it happened with the other seventeen bags. Sure, Clint and Natasha would spar with him, Sam occasionally. But he always sparred with Bucky usually, the only one except Thor to meet him on the same level. But Thor hadn’t been to earth for months and Bucky was still avoiding him.

The bag flew through the whole gym and Steve sighed. The sound of the back suddenly getting dragged back across the floor made him freeze. Those were _heavy_.

“Poor bag. What did it do? Or all the others.” Bucky asked, throwing the sack in the general direction where the others were laying.

“It’s not as strong as you.” Steve answered carefully while turning around. Bucky looked… tired. The same, but very very tired. As tired as Steve suddenly felt. His eyes flickered shortly to Steve’s chest where his nipples with the barbels in it were clearly visible through the shirt. 

For the first time, Steve felt ashamed of them.

“Stark gave them to you?”

“Uh, kind of. Not the original ones. Just the bigger ones.” Steve answered, unsure of what to do. What to say.

Bucky nodded, but not looking at Steve’s chest anymore. He held eye contact. Steve was glad for it. He was rather proud of his piercings, didn’t want to be ashamed of them.

“I won’t pretend that I understand it as long as you don’t want me to actively support it. Because I won’t. I think it’s the stupidest decision of your whole life and that says a lot looking at all the other decisions you made. But those are your decisions and if you tell me that this is purely your decision, then I will believe you.”

Steve felt a weight lifting from his chest he hadn’t known was there. This was everything he had wanted from Buck. Nothing more.

“Yes. It’s my decision. Or, will be because I only had the appointment with… it doesn’t matter, it’s my decision.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow and grabbed a new punching bag, hanging it up.

“So, a real doc? What is he a doctor for? Cutting off cock and balls?”

Steve snorted.

“No, had the same question. Urology.”

Bucky grinned and walked to the ring.

“Well, then… let’s spar a round or two, and then you can tell me a bit about it. But not too much. And don’t think I won’t grill Stark about it.”

~*~*~

“... concerns you in any way, Barnes.”

Steve stopped, not raising his hand to open the workshop as he should do.

“It concerns me because my team leader will have an operation that could affect us all. It concerns me because you turned my best friend into your bitch and you are now neutering him. Which is fine, if it’s his own decision, but I am not fine with the fallout I’m concerned will happen.”

A loud metallic clink ringed in Steve’s ears. Sir had either put down something very hard or threw something at Bucky. He couldn’t exclude any option.

“In case you forgot, your best friend did choose to become, as you put it, my bitch. Steve found out about the nullification. Steve wanted to have it done to him. Do you think it’s a decision I made lightly? No. For fuck’s sake, I haven’t really slept for over a week when he told me about it first. I still worry more than anything about what will happen if he wakes up one day and hates it. But it’s not my cock nor my balls that will be cut off. And in extension, neither yours. It’s Steve's decision and Steve seems to want it and I want nothing more to make my boyfriend happy. So if he thinks that makes him happy and he put enough thought about in it, then so be it.”

“I thought more about the fallout when you decide, and I probably quote, _’It’s not funny anymore’_. We aren’t talking about piercings here that will just heal themselves.”

Steve swallowed, the plate in his hand trembling slightly. He had told Bucky that. Had told him that it was part of the appeal for him, that Sir could do whatever he wanted to do. He hadn’t thought that Bucky could turn it… like that. He hadn’t thought that his brain would crave the answer so much.

“I was talking about the piercings, Barnes. I have no intention to leave Steve, even if I may think in a few years that this surgery had been stupid. Then that’s my problem. I am under no illusion that this relationship could break apart like any other relationship. But it will certainly not be because Steve decided he wanted to modify his body.”

Steve was relieved by the answer. Was relieved that Sir… seemed to accept that Steve really did it for himself.

“I hope so. Would be a shame if the world loses a genius because he thinks with his cock. Or accidentally does something with the knives owned by the Widow.” Bucky said, threat clear to probably both Steve and Sir.

Then the door suddenly opened and Bucky was in front of him. Grinning at him like a maniac.

“Hi, Stevie.”

And then Bucky disappeared.

Sir just stared at the spot where Bucky had stood not two seconds ago.

“Your friend is creepy, Dolly.”

Steve snorted and walked into the workshop.

“You should see him when he thinks it’s a legit decision to put onions on his Nutella.”

He relished in the way Sir turned a bit green.


	18. Chapter 18

“What do you mean an orgasm would be advised?”

Steve just stared at doctor Albrecht, trying process a sentence that should be normal. That shouldn’t sound… as strange as it sounded. Doctor Albrecht looked for a short seconds as if he needed to laugh.

“I understand that this may be not be something that’s usually included in your dynamic with Mister Stark. And it’s not a medical necessity. But I would advise it for several reasons, with two prominent one. The first is to empty out any liquid that got produced. It’s more to… rinse everything, if you want to see it like that. The next reason is purely psychological. A few of my patients used this ‘last’ orgasm as a conclusion to their prior life. It’s a bit like finishing work before you go on a vacation or cleaning up an apartment when moving out. The final stroke, a closure to something. I had patients who didn’t had an orgasm before their own chosen castration or a penectomy. Some regretted it, some didn’t. It’s an individual thing. But definitely something you should think about.”

Steve nodded, pressing himself back as unobtrusive on his plug as possible. Usually it would be fucktoy training now and his brain and body were too used to his new schedule to just change it.

“Okay. I will do that. Anything else you need from me?”

Doctor Albrecht looks down on his file - paper, as promised - and shook his head.

“No. We’ll give you both kinds of anesthesia, Mister Stark will be allowed at the surgery as long he doesn’t disturb the procedure. I will inform Mister Stark when the surgery can be done. We’re talking about a few days, probably a week. I would advise you to put down your consent on video and on paper. In fact, I won’t a surgery without a self written consent form next to the signed medical clauses.”

Steve stood up, feeling a bit dizzy. He didn’t knew when it was the last time where he had to process so many information.

“I will, doctor Albrecht. Thank you.”

~*~*~

If Steve had thought that writing down his consent was strange and hard, he hadn’t expected how hard it was be to sit in front of a camera.

_”It’s easy, Dolly. Almost script-like. Just state your name, birthdate and then tell the camera what kind of surgery you want. And if you want to, why. Then tell the camera that you know the risks or whatever you want. It just has to be clear that you want it right now.” Sir said, petting his hair while Steve slowly humped Sir’s leg, happy about his place, tears running down because everything hurt and was so good._

_“Sure. Easy, Sir.” Steve had murmured, stopping with a whimper when it almost got too much. The plug in his ass started to thrust up._

_“I am just… don’t know. What if they don’t accept it?”_

_“Then it’s their problem. If you want to, I can give the video to a lawyer and he can decide if it’s good enough.”_

_“No, Sir, thank you Sir.” Steve said, biting back a scream when the first electrical shocks went through the plug, reminding him that it had been longer than a minute since he made a break. He started to move again, already regretting that plug stopped thrusting._

Steve took a deep breath and looked into the camera before he waved, feeling only a little stupid.

“Uhm… hi. I’m Steve Rogers and… this is weird, I will absolutely admit that. Okay, so, I was born on the 4th of July in 1918. In this video I am stating my explicit consent to a surgery, which was my own decision. Or will be, because the surgery will happen in a few days, if nothing comes in between. Anyway, this surgery contains the removal of my testicals and penis, called castration and penectomy as I learned. I found out about it through the term nullification. I have several reasons for this operation. None of them are because I hate my sex, gender or body. I got evaluated by a psychiatrist. I know that it could be that one day I am waking up and think this idea was stupid - I also know that this day could be directly after the surgery or in fifty years. Doctor Albrecht, who will perform this surgery, explained the health risks and the mental challenges that could come up. I know that this is not everyone’s cup of tea. I know that people will speculate about my reasons. It’s okay, if they don’t have anything better to do with their life. Because I know that this surgery is for me. Not for anyone else.”

He thought about leaving a cheery goodbye, but decided against it while already standing up and turning the camera off. He took the written down consents from the table and walked back to the living room.

Sir looked up from his tabled, a small smile on his face.

“Finished?”

“Yes, Sir. I have the consent for you here and one for Doctor Albrecht. And, uhm, the video.”

“Good. Now tell me, Dolly, if you are finished, why are you wearing clothes?”

Steve almost let the camera drop so fast he tried to get his clothes off. Sir was being nice, not punishing him for a being dumb forgetful toy.

“Hump the table a bit, Dolly. You can even play with your teats. Do me a favor and let them jingle nicely.”

Steve moaned while bending over the table, enough that his caged cock got something similar to friction but leaving enough space for his piercings to jump up and down while doing it, always making a slight jiggling sound from the bells.

“In fact, get that plug out of your cunt, Dolly. A short desperation time would do you good.”

Steve whimpered when he pulled the plug out slowly, already having problems with grabbing its base with only one hand.

Sir sighed and stood up, walking in swift steps up to Steve and just ripping the plug out. Steve felt as if his insides were ripped out, now clenching wildly on nothing, feeling how a bit of Sir’s sperm dribbled out of him.

And then Sir chuckled.

“Interesting… your cunt doesn’t even react when I push two fingers in it, Dolly. A bit insensitive, are we? Well, that’s okay. A fucktoy doesn’t need to feel much anyway. That way it won’t whine as much. Maybe I should put numbing cream into it a few times a day, see if it has any long lasting effect. Now, we play a game. Look to the left.”

Steve turned his head so fast that it hurt a bit. Sir started to pull on his left nipple, making movements as if he was milking a cow, ignoring how thin the skin was with the even more stretched nipples. Sir had put the piercings in with 3 gauges, telling Steve when he reached 0, Sir would just put tunnels in them, watching his teats flapping around uselessly and would enlarge them with a pump. Steve barely could wait.

“See those apples, Dolly? Big and round. I will push them into this cave of a cunt and you will count. Of course you will look forward while JARVIS shows you a few feeds of yourself while you fucked this cunt into obliviation, wrecking it just because you couldn’t turn your brain on again. All shots will be from your free time. If you are right, I will let you crawl around with a tunnel plug, getting used as piss hole until the end of the week. If you are wrong, I will put a speculum in that cave and extend it as far as possible, using you as a trash can.”

Steve moaned loudly and JARVIS projected a video of Steve who tried to get the bedpost inside of him, at least a bit. That had been weeks ago… now Steve just slides down when Sir told him to be a pretty decoration, barely feeling a thing. Sir had already ordered a new bed.

“Of course you would love that. And now, turn that useless brain of yours on to count a bit further than to the next cock.”

Steve didn’t even really feel the first apple, hoping he wouldn’t be able to feel full at all.

~*~*~

“Come here, Dolly.” Sir said a few days later while doing something on his desk at the workshop, something Steve didn’t care about. Sir hadn’t let him up for the past three days, his chores had been done by someone else. Steve had only lived as a cum- and pissdump and he hadn’t known that this would be a thing for him.

It was. A big thing, actually. He wanted to stay on all fours and that scared him.

He didn’t knew why or what actually the appeal was, but he knew that he helped Sir, because Sir only had to get his cock out and aim at Steve’s open hole, pissing straight into him. If Steve could, he would hump his caged cock against something.

“Clean up, Dolly.” Sir murmured, not even paying attention to Steve when he slowly turned around, careful to not spill a drop and took Sir’s flaccid cock in his mouth, licking it clean.

“Tomorrow your reward ends, Dolly. Do you need to be brought up slowly or do you think you can manage the switch?”

Steve blinked and tucked Sir’s cock back in. He hadn’t been allowed to warm it, sadly.

“...Sir?”

“Your surgery is in five days. You need to be clear headed for that. And you still need to decide what to do about that orgasm.”

Steve blinked again, trying to clear his head at least a bit.

“I like it.”, he finally managed to say, which made Sir laugh.

“What do you like, Dolly?”

“Being your brainless toy, Sir. Just… existing.”

“That’s good to know. But that wasn’t what I asked, Dolly… we’ll start to bring you up slowly later.”

Steve hummed and leaned his head on Sir’s shoe, his gaping hole clearly on display. If Sir said later, then he didn’t need to worry right now.

~*~*~

“Are you absolutely sure?”

Steve wanted to scream. No, he wasn’t sure. His stomach was clenching when he even thought about the surgery in three days and the only thing he knew was that it wasn’t insecurity.

But otherwise? He felt as if he had to puke non-stop.

He settled for looking at Sir as if he’s an idiot. It didn’t impress him, at least not according to the raised eyebrow.

“Steve, if you really want to have you last orgasm ruined, then I won’t stand between that, but we both know that this won’t be something that can just get… undecided.”

“That’s not a word, Sir.” Steve said and he was very certain that Sir was just one deep breath away from giving him a slap across the face.

“Don’t test me, Steve. This is as stressful for me as it’s for you. Just answer the damn question.”

Sir sounded… angry. Resigned. And Steve certainly hadn’t wanted to accomplish that.

“Yes. I am sure. Doctor Albrecht said an orgasm would be advisable to make the procedure easier. For that he only meant the…”

“Are you sure that you want to be kept unsatisfied, probably forever? Yes or no.”

“Yes.”

Steve braced himself for a discussion, for Sir being angry… for something. Anything. But not for Sir nodding and smiling slightly at him.

“Okay. Then we’ll do that. You want to have that the evening before?”

“Yes, please.”

~*~*~

Steve whimpered, trying to chase the soft touch Sir had given his cock on accident.

“Stop it, Dolly. How should I trust you to be a good fucktoy if you do stupid things like thinking about your pleasure?”

“I am sorry, Sir.” Steve gasped, trying to stay as still as possible, wishing he could press back against the mattress and have some pleasure, but Sir had taken out his plug in the morning, telling him it would be fun to watch him squirm.

“You said that already a few times, Dolly. I mean, chase it all you want, but I won’t touch that thing anymore than necessary. You wanted to get rid of it, so I don’t see any use in wasting my time with that useless piece of nerve endings.”

Steve nodded and screwed his eyes shut when Sir started to stroke his abdomen again. Everything started to clench widely.

Sir pressed down, hard.

“I wonder if they grow together like the Doc assumes. You would be a sweet, nice doll with so many nerves running along where your useless cock used to be… it’s going to be fun giving you a kick or let you touch that scar. Let you remember that you used to be more than a simple fucktoy. Maybe I put a small clit vibrator to that scar. Think it will do anything for you? Probably not, you got so addicted for something to fuck you…. but it will look funny. Maybe a small butterfly. Let you walk around with only that and your funny teats. Let you work out on the shore where everyone can watch you, seeing your teats jiggling around wildly while you just fuck something into your cunt… maybe I pack that dildo replica of what used to be your cock, so you can fuck yourself and be happy that I let you cut off the sorry thing it became.”

Steve screeched when Sir suddenly pulled at his right nipple, hard. Inserting a finger into the loop from the bell.

“I’m going to put cow bells on them, I think, at least until we land. Then I’m going to remove everything except the tunnels that I’m going to insert during your healing time. You earned them. Say thank you, Dolly.”

“Thank… oh God, thank you, Sir.” Steve moaned, feeling his balls drawing up.

“For what, Dolly? I know you’re a bit dumb now, but you still should be able to remind your manners.”

“For putting tunnels in my nipples, Sir, making them useless.”

Sir twisted both nipples at the same time.

“First, those aren’t nipples, my dumb Dolly, those are teats and you will refer them like that from now on. Second, your teats had always been useless. They would only useful if I would give you real udders, but you look already dumb enough without them. No need to show up your desperation even more and bother upstanding people. So, what are you thanking me for, fuckdoll?”

“For making my useless n… teats look funny, Sir, for using them for your entertainme…. fuck!” Steve yelled when Sir let go of his ni… teats, letting the blood back in.

“Good. Wouldn’t want to put any stupid thoughts into your head that don’t belong there. You just take care of being nice to look at and being a good fuck bimbo. I think you’ll be naked during the vacation, at least until we’re under normal people again. Then I’m going to let you wear barely decent clothing, let you be dumb. Let you fuck yourself on your plug in some fancy restaurant. But when we’re at the house, you’re going to be naked, always fucking something into one of your holes. The goal is pretty easy, when we get back your cunt will fit both of my fists without any prep and we are going to train that annoying gag reflex out of your throat. Seriously, never met a whore that still had one. Maybe I let you choose, I’m nice like that. Get rid of that gag reflex or just suffocate while I pleasure myself with that fucktub in your face.”

Sir started stroking Steve’s abdomen again when Steve realized that the clenching got worse.

“Sir? I think I’m going to have an… please more, to have an orgasm.. god, Sir, please, just a bit….”

“No. First lesson of being a fucktoy, Dolly?”

“Pleasure is not important for dumbfuck fucktoys, Sir.”

“Repeat until you have your orgasm.”

“Pleasure is not important for dumbfuck fucktoys. Pleasure is not important… oh _God_... for dumbfuck fucktoys. Pleasure is not… _fuck_...”

Steve felt his balls drawing up. Sir stopped touching Steve the second the cum started to trickle out of his cock. Steve hated it. Every single second until his cock stopped twitching.

Only when Sir wiped away a tear on Steve’s face Steve realized that he had started crying. That he had closed his eyes.

“Thank you, Sir, thank you so much, thank you for doing this, for everything, thank you….” Steve started to ramble, trying to press his head into the touch Sir gave him, sighing happily when Sir put Steve’s head on Sir’s shoulder. Letting Steve ride the high of his last orgasm while murmuring endearments Steve couldn’t really hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Seasons of Kink; I2 - Body Modification


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING; Heavy Body Modification! Surgery Chapter! Also, more down below!
> 
> Also, yes. Miscounted again. I swear, I didn't drop out in kindergarten... I'm just bad at counting...

Steve felt dizzy. As if everything was packed in wool. Or maybe as if he was on a cocoon made of wool. Soft, fuzzy wool that got disturbed by something beeping. Steady, making him aware every time it made a sound, ripping him from his soft cocoon.

“... up, get the…”

“S’r…?” Steve asked and was surprised about his voice. It sounded scratchy. The dizziness was still there, but the wool-feeling lessened a bit. 

And then Sir was above him, wearing a mask and a strange hood and looking funny overall. Steve giggled and then froze.

“Sir… c’n’t feel m’ legs… why c’n’t I feel ‘em…?” Steve asked, trying to sit up but found that he couldn’t. Why couldn’t he sit up? What was….?

“It’s alright. It’s a side effect of the narcotics. We are at the surgery. Doctor Albrecht just removed your testicles. He was just setting the cut for the penectomy. Everything is okay. You are okay.”

Steve blinked and realized he felt like jelly overall. He couldn’t even really nod.

“... legs g’nna be back ag’n?”, he asked because he liked his legs. They were useful.

“Yes, they will be back, Darling.” Sir murmured, petting his forehead. That felt nice. And suddenly there was a nurse, pressing something on his face to breathe in.

“... ‘nother CSE would be advi…” Steve heard someone say from far away, but Sir was still petting him so it wasn’t important what was being said.

“Such a good boy. My perfect sub. I am so proud of you, my sweet boy.” Sir murmured and then Steve fell asleep again.

~*~*~

The next time Steve woke up, he was still feeling dizzy, but sadly not as if he was in a cocoon. Instead, he felt as if something had run him over. Thrice. And his throat felt raw. And as there had been something dying in there for three days.

A straw was pushed at him.

“Suck.” 

Without really thinking, Steve just followed the order, almost groaning when the first drops of water hit his tongue.

Only after a few gulps, he realized that in front of the bed there was Doctor Albrecht with a clipboard in his hand and Sir was holding a cup with water.

Steve laid down again and the straw disappeared.

“How long was I out?”, he asked, trying to focus on _something_.

“Around three hours after surgery, Mister Rogers.” Doctor Albrecht said and then looking on his clipboard again.

“Feeling anything strange?”

“Uhm… dizzy? Thirsty? I can’t focus. And my head hurts.”

The doctor nods and makes some notes.

“Those effects are to be expected and can last up to seventy-two hours after surgery. If there are any of those feelings for an amount afterward, please tell me or one of the nurses. Overall, the surgery went well, if we count out that you woke up in between. We already inserted a catheter. It has to stay in during the whole time the scar needs to heal. As long as you are in medical, the nurses will change it and will show you and Mister Stark how to do it. I advise that you stay here for at least two days, moving as little as possible. The bandage has to stay on for at least three days, so if you get released earlier, please make sure to change it every six hours. In between, I will evaluate how good everything is healing and give you an update. Do you have any questions, for now, Mister Rogers?”

Steve just shook his head, feeling his eyelids dropping again. The doctor said his goodbye and walked out of the room.

“Everything’s okay, Steve?” Sir asked, voice all serious. Steve nodded and closed his eyes, feeling a faint smile on his lips.

“I am curious, Sir… you already saw?”

“No. Only with the gauze. And it already looks perfect.”

Steve hesitated before he opened his mouth again.

“Like a good doll?”

A soft kiss was pressed to his temple.

“A perfect doll. Just for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING; This chapter contains Steve waking up during the surgery. He's high on all kinds of drugs and doesn't feel a thing, but this is a scary scenario for lots of people. So, if you are one of them, start reading at;
> 
> "The next time Steve woke up...."
> 
> Written for Season of Kink; O2 - Intoxication (yes, not the fun kind, but still)


	20. Chapter 20

In the end, Doctor Albrecht made him stay for three days (torture, he was convinced of it. Sir had only laughed at him) and made the gauze stay on for two more days.

Which meant that someone had to change the gauze and the catheter. And Sir had forbidden Steve to do it himself. Sir did it himself, never answering Steve any questions except that it looks good. Nothing else. And Steve was dying to be allowed to take a look, especially as Sir started to degrade Steve again more and more.

So when Doctor Albrecht told him one morning during a check-up that the gauze can be left off after the next change, it was heaven.

And hell, because suddenly, six hours became an eternity.

He got so fidgety that in the end, Sir ordered to kneel in the corner with his legs spread, thinking about the first time Steve would get fucked again.

Which didn’t help to calm Steve down, quite the opposite when he realized that _nothing_ down there even tried to move as it had been the case with the cage, but it helped to take his mind off a bit. At least until Sir suddenly pulled him back by his head to the bed.

“Flat on your back, Dolly, throat open, legs spread.” Sir ordered and Steve crawled on the bed as fast as possible, taking the position Sir had ordered him to, his head hanging slightly off the edge.

And then he felt the gauze getting taken off slowly and before he even knew what he did, Steve had already lifted his head. A hard slap across his face made him whimper.

“A few days unfucked and untrained and the whore thinks it’s allowed to ignore orders… high maintain, aren’t you, Dolly?”

“I am sorry, Sir, I just wanted…”

This time, Sir pulled harshly on his right teat while still removing the gauze.

“From now on, the words ‘Want’ and ‘Need’ are forbidden for you. A toy doesn’t want or need anything except getting played with. I will inform you of further words.”

And then the gauze came off and Steve could _feel_ Sir staring at him. Staring at the place where his cock had been. Steve whimpered. He wan… would like to look at it. He was curious about how it looked. If the scar was very visible or if….

Sir run a finger along the scar and Steve screeched, feeling as if his whole body was set on fire for a few short seconds.

“More, Sir, please, that’s…”

But Sir just chuckled and stood up, walking around the bed until he was right in front of Steve’s mouth.

Before Steve knew it, Sir had already rammed his cock down Steve’s throat, making him choke.

“You’re going to love it, Dolly. The scar is almost invisible, now. Just a few days more and it will look as if you never had a cock or balls at all, just smooth skin. How does it feel, Dolly, hm? To finally have a cock in you again? A few weeks before your useless cock would’ve been dripping like a hose, your useless balls drawn tight. And now, there’s just nothing that could take your attention away from what's important.”

Steve moaned and tried to reach down, to at least touch it, but Sir’s hands were pressing on his throat, choking Steve, even more, making his throat even tighter for Sir.

“That’s a good fucktub. And don’t you dare to touch that useless area of yours while I use you. Should a fucktoy have any pleasure? No, it shouldn’t. I know. it’s been a few days, but I am sure your stupid bimbo brain can turn itself off again, right?”

Steve would have liked to nod, to do anything, but he couldn’t. He felt dizzy, a few black spots already dancing in front of his eyes and Sir just pressed down _harder_ , grinding his cock into Steve’s throat as deep as possible.

“Now I can finally reach your cunt properly when using your fucktub. No need to lift up anything that’s just in the way. And I can see your poor cunt clenching wildly. Hoped to get fucked there, right? Well, never say I’m not nice to you, Dolly.” Sir said and that was Steve’s only warning before something big was pressed in. Sir’s cock was the only thing that prevented him from screaming, only a choked off sound coming out of him. God, Sir had probably put hot sauce on the toy. Wouldn't be the first time, either.

The black spots in front of his eyes became bigger, his head a bit fuzzier.

“I know, not as big as you’re used to, but it will do for now until I decide if we keep going with the plugs or if I just have a ring inserted. God, that would look ridiculous. Maybe for a few days.” Sir said, not even mentioning Steve's discomfort, ignoring his moans.

Steve didn’t know what kind of ring Sir meant, but it wasn’t important when Sir finally came down his throat, forcing Steve to swallow everything. Pulling back, making Steve once again dizzy with how much air he could suck in.

“Stand up, Dolly. You’re allowed to look now.” Sir ordered while he was already pulling Steve from the bed in front of a mirror.

Steve just stared. His face was flushed, a faint trickle of cum ran down his chin, coming from his red mouth. His teats had small cowbells in them which weren’t able to hide how low the teats were hanging. How stretched they were and how big and puffy. And then, when he looked further down there was just… nothing. Steve flushed even more. Just a small scar and then nothing, just looking like a doll. A perverse doll with a huge plug in it. He could see the base hanging out of his cunt.

It looked perfect.

He raised his hand and stopped, but Sir only chuckled and nodded.

“Touch it, Dolly. That’s the thing that defines you from now on. Nothing. Because you are nothing, just like you asked. Just a thing for me to use and abuse. To modify and fuck and to entertain me. You don’t have your free will anymore beyond opting out and what you agreed on. You don’t have a single say left what will ever happen to your body. You are just a cheap fucktoy now, not even able to really receive pleasure except through fucking. You will love the things I have planned for our vacation.”

Steve didn’t care, just stroking the now empty area, feeling… good. It was perfect and it felt like that.

“Thank you, Sir.” Steve whispered, relishing how Sir stroke his neck while Steve still couldn’t stop touching the scar.

~*~*~

There was a knock a few hours later at the door, followed by Bucky loudly yelling Steve’s name.

JARVIS must have let him in.

“Kitchen, Buck.” Steve answered, without yelling.

Bucky stopped when he reached the door frame, watching Steve cook. Not even looking at Steve nipples which was… a good thing, Steve assumed.

“Stark making you work already?”

“If I don’t do something I will go crazy.” Steve answered while cutting up an onion.

“Because that would be something new, yes.” Bucky deadpanned and took a few steps forward, face serious.

“But… I mean… are you okay? Will the work do… something?” Bucky asked carefully, making Steve smile.

“It’s okay. The scar is already healed up, so no risk in ripping it open on accident.”

Bucky made a strangled sound.

“That’s… good.”

Steve laughed and shook his head, throwing a piece of cheese at Bucky who caught it with ease.

“Yes, it is. I am fine. More than fine. Perfect, actually.”

Bucky chewed his cheese before he sat himself down and nodded.

“That’s good, punk… that’s good. Not today, but maybe you can show me before we spar together again. Just… well, to prepare myself.”

Steve smiled softly but made a point not to look at Bucky. Not to feel him even more vulnerable than he probably felt already.

“Sure, just say the word. You’re eating with us?”

“Na. Just bothering you a bit because I have nothing better to do.” Bucky lied. Steve didn’t call him out just like Bucky didn’t say anything when Steve started to prepare food for another portion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Season Of Kink; G4 - Double Penetration (Mouth and ass)  
> Written for MCU Kink Bingo; N5 - Choking


	21. Chapter 21

“C’mere, Dolly.” Sir ordered and Steve whimpered, crawling without taking out the dildo he’d been allowed to fuck himself on for the last few hours since Sir had taken him to his workshop.

“Turn around and press that thing out of your cunt. Lick the floor while you do it.”

Dol... Steve bend down and licked the floor clean without thinking about it. Sir hadn’t allowed it to think about orders anymore. Maybe Sir would be kind enough and would forbid Steve to think at all on some days.

The dildo almost fell out of Steve and a shoe was pressed against its scar.

“Hump.”

Steve moaned loudly and did as he was told. He felt that there was something in his cunt, but he couldn’t really grasp it and the pressure on his nerves and the pressure on his teats were already so good, even if he barely felt anything anymore in them.

“Hm. I think we can start to work with twelve inches now.” Sir murmured and then there was something bigger at Doll... Steve's cunt, forcing its way inside. His nerves clenched against the shoe.

“During our vacation, we will extend your hole to a permanent 7.5 inch. It will gape permanently, easier to handle that way. Maybe I’m nice and let you crawl around with a speculum in between, letting you feel how open that cave is already. I still need to train you to be a good trash can.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Dolly mumbled against the floor, feeling already excited for the bigger plugs. 

A kick against its nerves sends Steve shivering to the floor, continuing to hump that as good as possible.

It took almost three minutes until Sir spoke up again.

“Stand up and bring the plate up to the apartment. And then put some clothes on, something that makes people see your doll-crotch. Ah, scratch that, only pants, let them see your teats the last time.”

Confused, Steve stood up, hissing when Sir put his fingertips into the tunnels in his nipples and pulled them down roughly.

“Sir?” Steve asked confused. Sir just twisted them until Steve was sure he would rip them off. It looked funny to watch them untwist a little.

“Oh, yeah, you’re going to have them removed. They’re clashing with the aesthetic of what I have planned for you. And if a Dolly is too stupid to learn and control its teats, preventing them from getting hard, then it will have them taken away. They bring you too much pleasure anyway. But don’t worry, we’ll find another way to make you look dumb. Now, shoo, the piercer is expecting you in ten minutes.”

Numbly, Steve took Sir’s empty plate and rode upstairs. Pulling on the tightest pants he could find, leaving nothing to the imagination. Everyone who would see him would _know_ that it was a nullified bimbo. A good Dolly.

He glanced a last time at his teats, mourning them a bit. He loved how they looked, making it obvious for everyone. But Sir had decided, so he turned around and went to the lift again, his teats jiggling up and down with every move. Sir was right, they _did_ clash with the picture of a doll. And it was his own fault after all. If Steve wouldn’t be so horny all the time, always having hard nipples (or at least as hard as they still managed to get), Sir wouldn’t have to get them removed.

The doors opened and the same woman stands there that had already given him the piercings, raising an eyebrow when she saw the tunnels and leered when he saw his non-existing crotch.

“Gonna take a pic of them for my portfolio and then we will get rid of them just like Mister Stark wants. Sit down, going to put a bit numbing cream on them for the rest of those nerves that still work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the MCU Kink Bingo; O2 - Size Kink  
> Written for the Season Of Kink; B5 - Exhibitionism / Exposure


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... so... that's it. That's the last chapter of Dolly and I don't know how to feel.
> 
> For everyone that commented; THANK YOU! When posting this fic, I must admit, I was sure to receive quite a shitstorm. But your reactions were so positive and it makes me all gooey inside. You are the best. Thank you very very much!
> 
> Some of you already know that but for everyone else; The main story may be finished, but I am already planning Interludes / One-Shots in that verse. I like that dynamic between Tony and Steve and it is fun to play around with them.
> 
> So, if you have something special you'd like to see? Well, the only limit is the sky and the few limits I have. Post them in the comments, send me an ask on Tumblr, DM me on Discord. Whatever is the easiest for you.
> 
> Everyone; Thank you for reading. I hope you had fun <3

Dolly woke up when something got pushed into him, touching his oversensitive hole.

Sir had made Dolly pump it every day for almost two hours, making it look puffy… like a loose pussy. He had shown Dolly a picture on the blog Sir made for Dolly. His puffy cunt out there, for everyone to see.

“Awake again, Dolly? Good.” Sir said and then whatever it was got bigger. A small breeze made Dolly realize that Sir had put a speculum in him, cranking it even more open. Dolly whimpered and started to hump the blanket he laid on, trying to put a bit of pressure against his nerves. It wasn’t working, the sand was too soft, but it made him a bit more desperate, if even possible.

Sir hadn’t allowed Dolly to come up from the headspace Sir had put him in on the plane since they landed. Had taken Dolly’s name away and let him fuck himself stupid (stupider…?) with _everything_ he could find, letting Dolly hump everything whenever he wanted! And making sure he kept his promise, making look Dolly a bit more stupid, with always puffed up lips because Dolly was usually sucking on something or had to wear something that stretched his fucktub, making it an accessible hole. Or just pumping his lips a bit. And then of course puffing up his cunt lips like that. Sometimes it could be seen even when Dolly was standing! Never let Dolly wear clothes when they were on Sir’s property, always on display for everyone to see. 

On a logical basis, Dolly knew that the people who worked here got paid a lot to ignore him when they encountered him on accident while he fucked himself on something and had been to dumb fuck to hear them. But Dolly hadn’t really been logical for weeks now and after getting used to the staff, they just added to his humiliation.

And even when they left the property, Sir always made sure that everyone saw that Dolly was just a doll, no cock, teats or balls, just a dumb toy. Sir usually made Dolly wear way too tight shirts, too, making it obvious that his teats had been removed, that everything was smooth. If Sir allowed Dolly to wear a shirt at all. Sir only allowed Dolly to say dumb things, too, making it obvious that Dolly couldn’t think anymore. The stares Dolly received were delicious and he showed off as good as he could, smiling dumbly. pouting and biting his lips at the few people who looked at him in a very obvious interested way, fucking whatever was in his cunt a bit deeper no matter where they were. Even humping the things Sir put between Dolly’s legs.

Sir never shared Dolly, though, keeping him as personal fucktoy. Dolly didn't know what he should think of that. He liked the idea of getting tossed to some strangers, letting them have their fun. But Sir was only training him even further. Dolly knew that his cunt couldn’t close anymore. It was finally permanent now. On the rare times where Sir decided to leave Dolly’s cunt unplugged it was always dripping with Sir’s cum and piss.

Something pressed against Dolly’s prostate and he screeched, getting ripped out of his thoughts.

“Today will be even easier for you Dolly. You can crawl around, getting used to the new stretch. This speculum can go up to ten inches. I put it on the 7.5 mark I wanted to train you, too, but if I see that it starts to get too small, we still have a bit. Not that I think it will take that cunt long to feel empty again real fast.”

“No, Sir, Dolly’s cunt to slutty for it. Dolly loves to be fucked too much for it.” Dolly confirmed, moaned when Sir pressed his whole hand against his prostate.

“Here’s the plan for the last days when we are here. The next three and a half days your fucktub gets trained properly. I will put a longer dildo in it when I want to, a thicker one or maybe two. Your fucktub gets either used to it or not, but until we are on the plane again, you will always have something in your fucktub. Got it, Dolly?”

Dolly moaned loudly, already feeling his fucktub itch with want. Sir had trained him well.

“Yes, Sir, please, can Dolly…”

A pinch to his crotch let Dolly groan, but he shut up.

“Dolly can do whatever I order you to do. For your useless cunt, this speculum won’t get removed for the next days except at night. Better learn to control your bowels, but as you won’t be standing, it shouldn’t be too difficult, even for a dumb fuckslut like you. I will throw whatever I want in it, training you to be a trash can. Maybe I still use it as a pisspot, or make it my cum dumpster as usually, but from now on, that cave will mostly transport trash. It doesn’t concern you what I put in it. Get used to the feeling, won't be the last time either. Be a good Dolly and I even remember to empty you out in the evenings.”

Dolly bit his lips and smiled, thankful that Sir made his fantasies come true like that.

“During the nights, I will put you on that fucking machine you love so much. Thick dildo for your cunt and a nice one for your fucktub, too. Training your brain and body now finally to become not only used to fucking, but also addicted to it.”

Dolly grinned dumbly, playing with his scar and useless pec.

“Turn on that slutty bimbo brain for a sec, Dolly.”

Dolly didn’t want to. He loved the place where he was.

He still nodded and looked at Sir, trying to be as attentive as possible while mourning that Sir already took out his hand.

“When we are on the plane, I will bring you up again. You have three days to acclimate yourself. And then I want to know how you want to continue your life. You will get a proper time to think about it, but I know that you love to have something to mull over while you train your cunt. I will want to know if you want to be Steve Rogers, in every aspect of life, continuing like we did, if you want to be a mix of Dolly and Steve Rogers where you can have most of your life as before, or if you want to be my permanent Dolly. If you choose the last option, you will still get a few things from your old life, but nothing will be more important anymore than being my fucktoy. If I call for you in a meeting to keep my cock warm, you will do that. If I think it would be funny to let you fuck the statue at SI’s headquarter during lunch you will do it. The other two options will be negotiated if you decide on them. In the third option, you have no right to negotiate. Your word for negotiation will be taken away. The only safe word you’re going to have will be the word to opt-out completely. Do you understand your options, Dolly?”

“Yes, Sir, Dolly understands and alr…”

Sir stood up and kicked against Dolly’s nerves.

“No. You will make a decision when you are up again _and_ thought about it, maybe after we talked everything through first. And now you can turn off that useless lump in your head again. Now for your fucktub…”

Dolly pouted but it vanished when he saw the big dildo, still in its foil that Sir extracted from a bag. It would be long enough to choke a bit on it if Dolly tried, thick enough to make him drool like the dumb bimbo he was. There was even a harness in a separate foil!

“For your first day, I am being nice and will help you with a harness. Starting tomorrow, you will keep them in your fucktub without help. If they slide-out, just fuck them in again. Oh, and you can of course do that whenever you want, getting your fucktub used to permanent use. Say thank you.”

“Thank you Sir for treating Dolly so nicely.”

Sir chuckled and ripped open the packages, locking the harness and the dildo together before just sliding it into Dolly’s fucktub, laughing when Dolly started to choke a bit. Clasping it together.

“Enjoy the rest of your sunbath. You will know when you can crawl back into the house, your tracker will vibrate.” Sir said, pushing the foil deep into Dolly’s cunt, starting to make it a trash can. Hopefully, Sir wouldn’t empty it out before he strapped Dolly to the machine this night. Just to make a point.

Dolly moaned, moving his head a bit to have the dildo fuck it’s fucktub, starting to hump the blanket again as good as possible, feeling liquid dripping out of his hole.

He couldn’t wait for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what should Steve's decision be? Any thought of that? ;)
> 
> Written for the MCU Kink Bingo; G1 - Brainwashing  
> Written for Season of Kink; O3 - Non-Body Fetish

**Author's Note:**

> If you have a request, [just visit my Tumblr and drop me a message](https://ruquas.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Also, at the moment it could take me a bit to respond to comments due to heavy anxiety. I can assure you, I read the comment and will get back to you as soon as I can <3


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